Growing up gay.

Essay by zoepfizzCollege, Undergraduate November 2003

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My worst experience: Coming Out

Being gay is something you feel not something based on sex, but based on emotions and feelings towards someone who feels the same. I have become aware that I was absolutely sure I was gay a long time before I knew what the word meant. My earliest memory on this was from kindergarten, I used to always want to hang out with the boys and be extra nice to the girls in my class. Being a lesbian in a traditional family is hard. Most people in society accept the fact that people are gay and deal with it, but when it happens in their own home they tend to show their true colors. Maybe being a lesbian is more than just about the outward appearance and not about who the person is or what their about? When I was in about kindergarten I kind of figured maybe I liked girls but I thought that it was wrong.

It was drilled in my head by my ever so "Christian" parents that being gay was "evil" I often tried to stay away from thoughts of that nature especially being so young. I am seventeen years old now and I know more about pain and internal turmoil than I would like to. I used to think that I was alone and that something was wrong with me. I knew that to be truly happy I was going to have to start on a journey that would define me as a person.

I always knew I was different, but it was always unexplainable, maybe it wasn't meant to be explained. It is just this feeling that lies deep within my gut. It is this feeling that made me feel alienated at first. I tried to deny it in hopes...