Learning the Alphabet in China today

Essay by Keir January 2006

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A is for, "AiYahh", whenever anyone was tortured by the Chinese Communist Party.

B is for "Bu Shi", (sounds like "b*llsh*t") which NO Chinese citizen is permitted to say against any lies of the Communist Party.

C is for "Corruption" and "Communism"

D is for "Da Dao!" as the Red Guards said whenever they beat up teachers during the Cultural Revolution

E is for "Equality", a word which must be banned because the Communist Party says that it might lead to instability

F is for "F8lUn G0ng", ANOTHER word which must be abolished, because today, the Chinese Constitution lies about "freedom of religion"

G is for "Guo", which for Chinese Nationalists simply means, "We hate Japan" even though they do NOT really love their own country.

H is for "Huang", or "Yellow" in Chinese, as in the Yellow River which the Communist Cadres have polluted into toxic piss.

I is for "I hate Japan and that is all I need to proclaim my Chinese identity."

J is for "Just trust in CCTV and the People's Daily, and do not listen to what the Foreign Devils say"

K is for "KuoMinTang", who were the main Chinese warriors against the Japanese invaders, while the Communists sat back and let the KMT be killed in the millions and then took refuge in the countryside.

L is for the Tang Dynasty poet, Li Bai, whose poems were burned by the Red Guards during Mao's Cultural Revolution.

M is for Mao, who shat and pissed all over the 5,000 year old civilisation of China

N is for Neglect, as the ancient treasures and relics and beauty of China were neglected under the rule of Mao who destroyed everything he could; no one has destroyed more Chinese culture than the Chinese.

O is for "Open...