Why Are People Fat?
Foodisus was the god of food. In his own opinion, he was the most important god of all. All people need food and since he controlled food, he could be considered the most powerful. He liked to sit and admire his vast fields, forests, and oceans all filled with food. Everyone constantly had access to food and never gained weight after eating it. He liked his job feeding the people of the world. Man loved him too and he loved man.
Foodisus was a clever god and he penalized any wicked people who broke his many laws of food. He used poisons and bacteria such as E-coli and Salmonella along with other methods. The people understood that if they did something such as steal food they would be punished. They appreciated his way of doing things. He was very content with his work until one day.
Starvisus, a young boy came to Foodisus. He had a problem because he couldn't find any food. Every field around his village was barren. Immediately Foodisus figured this was the work of Gluttoneus, but he wanted to investigate first. This was the first time something of this sort had happened. Gluttoneus was the god of gluttony and he shared a bond of mutual hate with Foodisus. They had many battles, but Gluttoneus never had left people starving.
Foodisus instantaneously visited Starvisus's village. His village was pretty small, no more than 100 people. It was not even close to the number of people it would have taken to gobble down all the crops surrounding it. He inquired of everybody in the village to see if they knew anything about where the crops went and none of them knew. They were all famished. Foodisus was deeply angered and he knew whose fault...