An Outlook on Suicide

Essay by tony883College, UndergraduateA-, December 2004

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Most people who are suicidal aren't doing it to get the last laugh, or to make people feel bad. It is because their coping resources are outweighed by the needless shit they have to slog through on a daily basis.

And what do depressed and suicidal people do when this shit happens to them? They hold it inside. Father molested you? Don't tell a soul, you don't want people worrying. Boyfriends/girlfriends treat you like shit every day of your life? Hold it in, you don't want their feelings to be hurt. Parents yell at you and beat you for the slightest offense? Go along with it, you don't want to hurt anybody by rebelling.

I've noticed so many people on this wonderful planet, saying things like they wish they weren't going home for the holidays because they don't want to get caught up in their parent's BS or chaos.

But they go anyway.

They put on the fake face of happiness, and suffer through a few days of being treated like animals so they can preserve the feelings of those around them.

And it builds every day. Every little insult, every memory of childhood trauma, every time you were put down, beaten and used by those around you threatens to obliterate the tiny glass jar in your heart that is brimming with hate and sadness. Waiting for that final day when it will just explode and leave your insides a shattered, cut up mess.

Suicide isn't another selfish act in a long line of selfish acts on that person's part. In fact, one could say it is the FIRST thing somebody tries to do for themself rather than soldiering on for the sake of those around them.

Suicide is not evil. It is the final, and sometimes, only recourse that...