"Oh night in which the stars seign light, all night that alone is the size of Universe, make me, body and soul, part of your body, so that-being near darkness- I'll lose myself and become night as well without any dreams as stars within me, nor a hoped for sun shining with the future" (F.Pessoa, "Book of Disquiet", passage 280 ). How do I begin to tell you the story of myself? To tell you how hard it is no fight with inner you? Let me try to express my feelings into the story, which I would never read again, the story of myself.
"Is it worth to live, if you don't see anything in front of you: neither you future, nor what you want from your life?" I was walking towards the ocean and was thinking about mine life mistakes. Life got totally screwed up, everything went wrong.
Thinking
Night Thoughts (audio drama)
Edward Young. In: Night thoughts, on life, death, ...Before, I was an example of the perfect man: I was studying and dreaming about the future, I did not do anything abnormal, and was proud of myself. And who am I now? The person, - who lost himself in this world; in the ocean of mistakes and uncertainty. I did a lot of stupid things, and even realized that I never tried to change my life"
The weather this night was beautiful: the sky was surprisingly clear, and it seems that every star was like a mirror, which reflected you image. He reached the beach, sat on the sand and his look stared far away. Cold and life water breeze was coming from the side of the ocean and moon shined far away in the sky. He was afraid of thoughts in his head and scared of them to become a reality. Somehow he felt that something was going...