English: Cindy Crawford at The Fantastic Mr. Fox p...
English: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the Canne...
Brad PittKatie Brooks Revenge of the Pork Person Men, I think, form an opinion of how they look in seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. Some men form the opinion that they are irresistible stud muffins, and they do not change this opinion even when their faces sag and their noses bloat to the size of eggplants and their eyebrows grow together to form what appears to be a giant forehead-dwelling tropical caterpillar. Men can have a grand total of eight greasy strands of hair which he grows real long and combs across the top of his head so that he looks, when viewed from above like an egg in the grasp of a giant spider, plus this man can have B.O to the point where he interferes with radio transmissions, and he will still be convinced that, in terms of attractiveness he is border line Brad Pitt.
Actually, I believe most men think of themselves as average looking. Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure in cattle at a range of 300 yards. Being average does not bother them; average is fine, for men. This is why men never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns. If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues, such as the Super Bowl.
Women do not look at themselves this way. If...