Reproduction is Fun

Essay by toshkaJunior High, 9th grade May 2005

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I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for reproduction, some for sexual pleasure and some for glory. I suppose fighting for reproduction makes more sense than all the rest. Many men may die but it is a sacrifice we must take. Men of war, we must reproduce, we must venture into the land of Troy (Vagina) and enter the walls of the Vagina where we shall meet our destiny and attack the ovary so that we can fertilise Helen the egg, who was former queen of Sparta. She was stolen by Paris, Prince of Troy. We must fertilise her so that we can rule the land of Troy. I, Agamemnon, powerful King of the Mycenaeans otherwise known as the 'Penis' have united massive tribes of sperm warriors amongst Greece to fertilise Helen back in Troy, in defence of my brother's honour. One Greek sperm warrior alone stands as the key to victory over Troy.....


Achilles, contact the Men of the Testes. We need to gather men for war. Make sure their living conditions are good. Be sure not to admit any sperm warrior, into our training barracks if they carry disease because this can weaken our army. Achilles, you will have to appoint a commander, he will be a powerful and mortal leader who will have the title of Commander 'Nurse Cell'. Commander 'Nurse Cell' must look after 150 spermatozites warriors at a time and transport them through the 200m of canals which will lead them to the Epididymis for training.

Once the army of Greek sperm warriors arrive at the Epididymis you will set up a barracks for our sperm warriors to rest and train. You will teach them how to swim. Our warriors will become excellent warriors seeing as...