This is a satire paper written on an AP Literature and Composition level. It is a satire about illegal immigration. hope you enjoy.

Essay by megb310High School, 12th gradeB+, December 2008

download word file, 4 pages 0.0

¡Cruza la frontera ya!There is a serious circumstance that is troubling America: the inability of we Americans to accept our Hispanic counterparts. This is no forgivable matter; it is surrounding our country. Sure they "illegally" cross the border but is there really a difference between the America-Mexico border and the Texas-New Mexico border? I didn't think so. These citizens who come to America benefit us in so ways; many of which we have never even began to consider.

When our Hispanic friends enter the United States they bring with them a whole new culture. These contacts to Hispanic history teach us Spanish. I plan on getting a minor degree in Spanish when I go to college but at this rate I will know the language before I even graduate high school. Not only are we exposed to Spanish but also Hispanic foods. Where would the country, and especially Roanoke Rapids, be without Mexican food? Think people.

Chimichangas are the fuels to our minds and they give the sewage companies business. All those clogged septic tanks. The food, which Hispanic Americans bring to this country, creates jobs and by the way this economy is going we are going to need as many jobs as possible.

While we are speaking of jobs, let us address the role of Hispanics in the workplace. The entire reason that they cross the border is to pursue a better life. So let them. Allow these border hoppers to take your job or even give them a job. If you own a farm, migrant workers are the new slaves. They are cheap laborers but be sure to buy them as soon as you seem them because they will be gone in a split second. Even if they cannot become a farmhand they can have our jobs. If all of our jobs are taken then we can all sit at home for the rest of our lives, be placed on welfare or unemployment, smoke the tobacco that they plucked for our cigarettes, and live off of the corn that was picked last month from Farmer Joe's field. Doesn't that sound like an amazing life? They can even do our handy work. If you need a new coffee table do not go to Sears and spend $50 on a new table let the Hispanic man across the street build you one; he'll do if for free. Even if you haven't cleaned your house in five months, ask the Hispanic lady who lives on the corner to clean it. She won't charge a fee either. As long as you do not inform the government about the illegal status of your Hispanic neighbors they will perform any household task that you ask for them to do. It is by far the fairest exchange that happens in the United States.

Another exchange happens on every street corner in the part of town you are scared to visit. These immigrants deal the drugs that our young adults would be dealing. Let them sell the drugs instead of our youth, this keeps the American children innocent of drug dealing matters. With our kids getting arrested in fifth grade for bringing marijuana to school, we need some other culture to take over. The charges for dealing drugs are much higher than what we would receive for taking the drugs. Smuggling has always been seen as a problem, but why? They are bringing more drugs for us to use. Without Hispanic drug smugglers the drug count in the United States would be half as small. Consent to their American livelihoods so that our children are safe, from being arrested.

Let us look at the other silly "laws" that are broken by the "illegals." Many of our migrants choose to acquire fake Social Security cards. These cards will permit them to receive the same benefits that we are allotted to when we retire. Hey, if we live at home on welfare for the rest of our lives they can receive the Social Security that will deplete in a few years anyway. Their increasing number will probably cause it to drain much sooner at any rate. Driving without a license is also a problem many conservative Americans face with immigration. I cannot see why. The immigrants are so careful not to wreck because they can't be seen without a green card or they will get deported. So naturally, they would be some of the safest drivers in the US of A. Get close to their bumpers and trail behind them. But don't follow them into the bad part of town; you might get confused for a dealer.

The presence of these immigrants and their drugs will benefit the government officials. Many more police jobs will be created in order to keep up with the constantly growing migrant number. Police will patrol nightly searching for Hispanic people who are jumping fences; this is considered to be a sign of a true border crosser. Many Americans should feel safer because there will be nightly patrols and true criminals would be caught in the process.

By this point I hope you understand how important Hispanic immigrants are to our American existence. We rely on them for much more than you realize. They also save us from many hassles. Soon police will begin to over look all immigrants and so should you. Allow them to take our jobs, plow our fields, sell our drugs, and even deplete our Social Security. The country will be nothing but immigrants and the few true born Americans that are left standing will become the minority. These Hispanic crossers will make Americans feel much safer. Our real criminals are caught and our children are saved from dealing drugs. All this is caused by a few Mexican men who decided to try to cross the America-Mexico border. Their success allowed many other Hispanics to flee to the United States in order to save Americans from ourselves. We should be so grateful of the many sacrifices which Hispanics allow us to create to give them our "American Dream"