"Secrets to Building a strong relationship" This is brilliant and deeply true.......hope it goes a long way.

Essay by karty18 May 2004

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An African proverb states.

"Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry,

close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't

let lust,desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a

low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change

someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws,

vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more


If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,

you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little


bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional

needs, values,dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique

individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you is perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do

you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you

compete,compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past

relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't

make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop


spiritual discernment, and "a life," you won't find yourself making

someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your


Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not

the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting


Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are the wrong reasons to

be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household

tasks, some...