Still Undecided.

Essay by sy_124 November 2005

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I will graduate at the end of next semester. I do not

know where I want to go to school next year or what I want to major in.

Sometimes I wonder if I want to go to school at all. The problem is not

that I have had all these decisions thrown at me suddenly or unexpectedly,

it is that I have put off making them for four years now.

I know that I can do anything that I want to, that I have the

abiliy to successfully achieve anything I focus on. Is this egotism part

of my problem?

Then there is the fear I have of making the wrong decision. What

if I pick a school or major that I end up hating or having no interest in

at all after I get there? Is that a contradiction to my last paragraph? I

realize that I always have the oppotunity to change what I do not like, but

there is also that fear of time and money wasted.

I feel I need the

change of scenery that such an investment would bring, but what if I am

dead one year from now. Will I have wasted my present life worrying about

how happy and successful I can make my future?

As you can tell I am overflowing with worries and questions. In a

way I almost wish I had the identity staus of forclosure pushed on me so

that my future is already planned for me and I could focus on one day at a

time. Then my egotism strikes again and I think to myself "I can go

farther than that." "Do not take the easy way out." The decisions I have

to make are helping to build character., I know, I know.

I need to...