How to Successfully Vault a Cupcake

Essay by tony1991991College, UndergraduateA+, November 2008

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How to Successfully Vault a CupcakeI awoke to the screaming of an elderly woman. I lifted my head from the warm pillow in resent towards the vile sound. My best friend was asleep on the sofa in what seemed to be some kind of coma (He was blessed with the gift of heavy sleep) We had drifted asleep half way through a comedy movie, the usual end to a visit to his house. "PANCAKES!" It must be time for breakfast. I went to wake my friend from slumber. I tapped him on the shoulder, no reply. I pushed this time, nothing. Thinking quickly, I slapped him in the face. He rolled off the couch, rose to his feet and walked towards the kitchen. I followed him.

As we sat at the unearthly high table, we noticed there were no pancakes laid out in front of us and that the room smelled of stale bread rather than a delicious buttermilk aroma.

His mother stood in front of me staring at the wall to her left. "Do you know anything about this and why are the cupcakes gone?" A few dozen cupcakes lay on the floor, shattered and decrepit. I tried to look innocent but the guilt was unbearable. I confessed, "Ok I know how this looks but I can explain…" I never finished the sentence due to the screaming that proceeded. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" Well, that day I never explained it so in this essay I will redeem myself.

To successfully vault a cupcake you will need: a large cylindrical coffee can (preferably full of grounds so the rolling is kept to a minimum), a six foot long wooden two by four, the amount of cupcakes desired, and a friend. First, lay the coffee can the ground,