Thoughts of a lonely mind.

Essay by visi01 June 2003

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The obstacles that we face are intertwined by the ways we confront our previous struggles which test our judgments about what we perceive. The perception of the obstacle is a facade by the paradigms we have through the lessons of life learned. When one confronts their external cause of struggle, a reflection of thy self is questioned. The answers that our internal selves turn to are an awkward one that devastates our persona. The question, I am I, or aren't I, this needs further investigating on our behalf. The roads which divide us from reality will eventually collide with each other. At this moment, we will seek who we are, un-judgmental on our actions; in all, curious about the damage we've caused internally or externally to ourselves, and others. People lack the ability to except the path they walked already; only to concentrate more on the road which is ahead rather than the one where they came from, in the entire path behind them.

This diminishes the reality of progression that leads to an understanding and experience felt, learned and it demonstrating a totally awe.

Today, I have noticed my own destructive actions that have led me to where I am. The question is, "I am I, or aren't I?" One that perplexes my way of thought, while I fully acknowledge my ways leaving me utterly mortified. My world collided in a single wink of an eye! Depression, anxiety, overwhelmed my presence as I conjured up excuses to redeem my persona as a man. Why, who is to blame? Is it me, you, god or the both of us? The first phase was I smooth sailing or entrapped in my own belief?

When the transitional period came about, I learned the meaning of loneliness. As I reflected back into...