Are you O.K? - A satire on how people ask if you are okay when you clearly are not

Essay by MushywafflesHigh School, 10th gradeA, May 2006

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"Are you OK?" , You've most likely heard this interrogative spoken at times like these:

Subject 1: (Lying in a pool of his own blood, obviously dead.)

Subject 2: OMIGAWD! I saw that truck run you over then back up and run you over again! (Here it comes) Are you O.K?

Subject 1: (Still dead)

Recently a study was conducted by the AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE or the American Association of Scientists That Waste Your Tax Dollars on Stuff like Do Goldfish Actually Have a 3 Second Memory and the Placebo Effect. The study showed that, no matter what, this question, even when asked with all the consideration and kindness in the world does not have the power to make anyone feel better or change the situation. The head of AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE was questioned on the findings of a study in responded, "Well, we found that wasting the time that you could be calling Subject 1 an ambulance by asking if he's OK when he obviously is not is as helpful as the Placebo Effect, but we got our money and now we can get started on more pressing issues."

At this time the entire AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE science team left to place bets on who will win the Super Bowl. The point is next time someone gets mortally wounded and you feel these three words on your tongue just remember... give them a sugar pill and tell them it will make the pain go away.