This doesn't read correct. Im presuming you have taken sentences out of a book and put them together without proper editing. That doesnt work. Therefore this makes the syntax of this essay rather confusing
- 19/08/2005
- 21:17:11
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
The bitch flight attendants that work in Auckland International Airport.Let me explain.My bfs family were going to malaysia before flying home, on malaysian airlines. They were allowed to take 25kg each in their suitcases and 7kg on to the plane with them. They were just under the limit. We weighed the bags and they were weighed at the airport when they were checking in and they were under the limit so they wouldn't have to pay any extra money. Being the bitches those flight attendants are, they made them be escorted to the departure bay with the biggest bitch ever. She went up to security and told them that their luggage was over and to charge them NZ$200 (or US$140). This was an absolute lie. Just five minutes earlier everything had been weighed and it was fine. They were naive, they didnt know. They were eager to get home and so they paid the money. I only found out yesterday after they arrived at their destination what had happened to them. They didn't believe me when I told them to be careful of the people here, that they are out to harm you. They thought I was joking. They didn't heed my warning and as a result had $200 unlawfully forced from them.TO THE MALAYSIAN AIRLINE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WORKING AT AUCKLAND INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTSTOP BEING SUCH BITCHES AND GROW A HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 06/12/2004
- 18:43:51
- Score: 2 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
There are places where your sentence structure needs work. Also I am not too sure about your use of "behaviours" shouldn't it just be "behaviour"?
- 22/06/2004
- 17:34:53
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Thanks for this, it will help me alot in my exam
- 17/06/2004
- 18:11:16
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Please leave comments . TY.
- 14/06/2004
- 02:43:48
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I totally sympathise with your cousin
- 10/06/2004
- 02:17:53
- Score: 2 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
These comments are totally hilarious. Brings back the memories
- 03/06/2004
- 03:39:34
- Score: 4 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
Good, liked it. It sounded like a rap. I think it was the rhythm of it. Maybe you can sell it to a rapstar and makes lots of money... hehehe.Because I hate writing poetry I am very impressed and will award you with 10/10 for your efforts.
- 31/05/2004
- 23:04:57
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This was a very interesting essay. I live in New Zealand where the legal age for having sex is 16. I would say that like 95% of the population have had sex by the age of 19, and about 1/5 become impregnated. I know 4 friends who had an abortion under the age of 19 and there must be countless others out there. Personally myself I think that the legal age for sexual intercourse should be 18. 18 at least you have finished high school and you hopefully have more brains in your head to understand the consequences of your actions. Good essay. 8/10 :)
- 31/05/2004
- 22:59:12
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Abortion is legal in New Zealand, Australia, most countries actually. The States unfortunately has an absolute idiot as its President. Wanting to revert the States back to 19th century politics, the time before liberalism. One of these acts was to abolish legal abortion. If you want to read about the history of the new womens movement in the States starting from the 1960s read my essay.This essay was more of a summary, I agree with sileas451's comment but I wouldn't be so harsh. The person's only in high school and they are submitting it here to learn not to be ridiculed. Good points just ease up on the way you say it.I'll give this a 6/10
- 31/05/2004
- 22:31:00
- Score: 10 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
I found it informative, because I know nothing about Christianity. Good sentence structure, was coherent. 8/10 :)
- 31/05/2004
- 22:25:08
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This essays is highly informative. I have a question though, how do American's manage to get so fat. I am totally shocked aye. Someone told me that it is cheaper to eat junk food at restaurants than to buy vegetables and cook at home... is this true????This essay gets 9/10 from me :)
- 31/05/2004
- 22:21:50
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
The content was good, but you could have made it better by putting the line numbers next to the lines you are referencing. It makes it much easier to grasp the contents as it gives the reader an indication of the time sequence in which the poem was written. You could have also maybe added in a bit more historical context, and possibly added in a bit of rhetorical. How would this poem have been received by its medieval audience? Is it controversial? Humourous? Then maybe compared that interpretation to how we interpret it today. However, it provided a good summary and analysis of the poems content. I'll give it 8/10.
- 31/05/2004
- 22:09:08
- Score: 43 out of 60 people found this comment useful.
This was a good essay, it discussed a topic i know nothing about. I found it well written and interesting. Ill give it 95% and a green smiley :)
- 12/12/2003
- 19:05:36
- Score: 12 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
Hey Alex since your concerned with length go and read my "The Vampire: What Boundaries Does It Threaten" essay, its 10,000 words long. Im sure you'll enjoy it.This essay was good, not as exciting as your creative writing... but its about foreign policy so how exciting can it be.... lol. It gave a good, briefing on the essay and im giving it 90% and a smiley face :)
- 12/12/2003
- 18:45:17
- Score: 7 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
Well I liked it, I didnt find it hard to read at all, it was actually really straight forward. I liked the fact it had a twist... at first I thought you were just going to talk about your school play and I was thinking oh boring (lol), but then you totally surprised me and linked it back to your mothers sickness - very good. Screw the other comments, I liked the essay alot and Im giving it 100% and a big green smiley :) - my opinion counts the most anyway... hehehee
- 12/12/2003
- 17:29:40
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
All I can say is yeah librarians are always bitches. They have no life and are jealous of those who do. This paper was excellent.. it was emotive and it captured the readers attention and maintained it throughout the whole piece. I agree with Colrisk, I hope this is a facet of your imagination and that it didnt actually happen.. because that would suck big time. It reminds me of when my step-dad (who was way better than my biological dad)passed away from cancer.. that was a tough time... especially for my mum. For this essay im giving it 98% and a smiley face :)
- 12/12/2003
- 17:16:15
- Score: 5 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I have been studying "theory and the Gothic" for too long... im psychoanalysing all the writing. This piece of writing has disturbing Freudian connotations... i dont want to get into them.. lol. Return of the Repressed.. repressed desire for children, fear of death, etc. Eve Sedgwick homoerotic theory..two boys and a girl... girl acts as a mediator for homoerotic desire between two boys. Relationships mediated through three people, no room for a fourth... jealous wants to be the mediator... Too many possible readings... lol. I liked it though, I enjoy reading stuff that is multi- faceted, makes it so much more fun. Good description, worked well, im giving it 96% and a smiley :)
- 12/12/2003
- 16:52:59
- Score: 13 out of 20 people found this comment useful.
Yeah I'd call this brief. Its just over 300 words... lol. Havent read the novel, but this was a clear, concise overview that gave me a good grasp of the plot line and the symbolism involved. Excellent analysis.... 95% and a smiley from me :)
- 12/12/2003
- 16:44:33
- Score: 11 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
Why is jmk12345's comment titled HOBA? Im not the author ........ lol
- 12/12/2003
- 16:37:43
- Score: 12 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
I can't believe I read so many books. It brings back the memorys. I had one week to research and write this essay... god it was so much work. It provides me relief when I look at this essay, just to know that I completed it.
- 12/12/2003
- 16:34:13
- Score: 19 out of 25 people found this comment useful.
Of course its biased, I was in such an angry mood when I wrote this. I was totally pissed off, because my job is all based around customer interaction, and I was extremely angry with all the idiots I have to deal with. The only reason immigrants actually come here, is for the passport. They sit here for two years receiving welfare, then leave the country once they become a citizen. With regards to Polynesians... we have more polynesians living in (Auckland) New Zealand than they have in the Islands themselves. The reason they come here is because the government just lets them in, they come and get a state house and welfare benefits which they then send back to the islands.... all the tax payers money is therefore going overseas which puts the economy down the crap hole. Im not against immigrants, my partner is one, im against the way that some of them choose to sit at home on their ass, not learning english or intergrating themselves into society... basically being a total waste of space and resources.
- 12/12/2003
- 16:23:08
- Score: 8 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
Excellent Essay... agree with all the comments. Im pro-abortion myself... if people are dumb enough to have an unwanted pregnancy in the first place (apart from rape...that results from absolute animals) then they are probably too dumb to bring up kids. Having children is a huge responsibility - you dont just feed them, clothe them etc... you have to teach them to be a respectable and constructive member of society... if you are not that yourself... it would be the old cliche of the pot calling the kettle black.Good Job! 98% and a :) from me.
- 11/12/2003
- 18:35:55
- Score: 16 out of 22 people found this comment useful.
The essay is good, but u should have talked about sexuality in Billy Elliot, not just straight out if hes gay. It was interesting though. Im giving it 80% and a smiley face :)
- 10/12/2003
- 20:01:45
- Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This was well-written, just like your Scarlet Letter essay. It covers the topic well, and was coherent and easy to read, which is always nice. I can see why this essay got 98%, keep up the good work! For this essay I'd give it 98% as well, cause i liked it, and a smiley face :)
- 10/12/2003
- 19:23:17
- Score: 9 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
Good. Well covered. Just proof-read it again... im not sure whether you have written the paragraphs like that or whether it happened when you submitted it here... im guessing the latter though. I'm giving it 90% and a smiley face :)
- 10/12/2003
- 18:00:48
- Score: 4 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I dont think anyone likes cancer, just like i dont think anyone likes AIDS...lol. I can relate to this narrative piece, my step-dad died a few years ago from multiple mialoma (bone cancer). It is terminal cancer that is only supposed to affect old people, but because he worked as an industrial chemist and was exposed to all sorts of carcinogens for years (tetrachlorides etc.. this is before they knew they caused cancer, they are banned now). He shrunk from 6'4 to only 5'10, imagine how painful that must have been. They tried him on some new chemotherapy drugs that had just been developed at the time.. and they were what killed him. Sometimes I think the "cures" are worse than the cancer itself.. they end up making you more sick. Its like fighting poison with poison... I dont think it really works. I liked your writing, it was natural and emotive, and i'll give it 95% and a smiley face :)
- 10/12/2003
- 17:41:33
- Score: 8 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
I am a full time student and I work 60 hrs a week. I still manage to pass my papers, I might add without studying...lol. I liked this paper, it gave nice clear, easy examples of what it would be like for a high school student to work part-time as well. But they give you way too much homework in high school anyways... well at least mine did. I used to have 5-6 hrs of homework a night... I did nothing but study. Im going to give this essay an 85% and a smiley :)
- 10/12/2003
- 17:16:21
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Too right, I agree with your opening sentences. I havent read the book, but this gives a detailed enough analysis of it for me to grasp the general plot line. I like your writing style, it has the right balance between being too conservative and too flamboyant. It flowed nicely and I'm giving it 95% and a smiley :)
- 10/12/2003
- 17:03:05
- Score: 10 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
This is a good essay, it answers the quesiton extremely well. Just a suggestion, when mentioning Lear's blindness you could also state that he mistakes material love for spiritual love, it also helps to set up his poor judgement and ties it back in to Goneril and Cordelias profession of love for Lear in the beginning. I had to analyse this play a few years ago, so I know what im talking about. A couple of your sentences need re-working, especially in the introduction - some dont flow correctly - other than that, no complaints. I'll give the essay a 90% and a smiley face :)
- 10/12/2003
- 15:57:24
- Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I would have liked to have seen the power point presentation...... would have been very interesting. Liked the essay, very informative. Child safety is controversial.... regard for life is not trivial (daniela). I would have given it a 95%, its a great speech - a shame you handed it in late though... but it must have taken ages to do the power point presentation. Enjoyed it well done :)
- 08/12/2003
- 22:41:13
- Score: 12 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
You should have pointed out is was an article. It would explain why "I" is plastered all the way through your work....which I was finding annoying when I was reading it as an essay.
- 08/12/2003
- 22:15:35
- Score: 23 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
This is about a 1/4 of what the essay should be. It barely scraps the surface. You state in the conclusion that you are trying to provide a definition between "normal" muslims and "extreme" ones.......well where is it. In my opinion religion actually had nothing to do with September 11. It was people who had immense anger against the US, trying to justify their actions through religion........which is totally wrong! people who do such things are usually weak, as they are not willing to take responsibility for their own ideas or actions. In order to really grasp the September 11 event..I think it is best to take the word "Muslim" out of the equation.I am giving this essay 75% and an average face because it just does not cover enough.....to shallow and broad :|
- 08/12/2003
- 20:53:29
- Score: 20 out of 28 people found this comment useful.
In response to Kuza's comment. Homosexual practices were still taking place many hundreds of years ago when it was viewed as dirty and straight from the devil, that was punishable by death. How can homosexuality then be a product of social perversions if it is not socially acceptable. I think that you need to read some history books on "sex and gender". What constitutes a male and what constitutes a female arises out of society. Usually in homosexual couples..one is more "male" than the other, and one is more "female" than the other. So another argument could be that homosexual couples actually live as heterosexual couples...because although they may physically be identified as "male" or "female" in reality they may not feel as restricted in their sense of gender as society likes to portray. I think that homosexual marriage should be allowed because it still sticks to the whole principal of marriage....receiving a piece of paper to signify two peoples love for one another. Religion is very biased and narrow-minded....which is why I dont follow it. The truth path to life is inner-discovery and being able to follow a path designated by your own self, free of outside influence. Removing yourself from other peoples ideas, and organised religion actually brings you closer to God......thats what i think anyway.Overall I liked this essay....it was short, sweet and to the point. I liked the way you pointed out the irrationality behind some of the homophobic arguments....very good. I am giving this essay 94% and a smiley face :)
- 08/12/2003
- 19:12:28
- Score: 11 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
It was an absolute shock to me to find out that you are in University. Quite frankly I don't know how you were even accepted, but then again it is probably one of those really low grade places...what do they call them, oh yes "community colleges" in which they accept any rubbish that walks in off the street. BTW when you come in to the chatroom stop saying "meow", you sound like a cheap whore trying to find new clients. Seriously you need to grow up...your writing is immature, especially your comments, your take on love befits that of a 13 year old, and your name...why that is something a little 8 year old girl would call herself. If I had the ability to block you I would....because quite frankly you never add anything constructive to my essays.
- 08/12/2003
- 17:50:39
- Score: 5 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
Please leave a comment after the essay....it gives you 75 points for doing so, and it is also constructive for me because I know what I need to improve in future essays.
- 07/12/2003
- 23:13:04
- Score: 22 out of 27 people found this comment useful.
I also wrote this the morning it was due. It had to be handed in at noon and I started writing it at 8am........and it took me 45 mins to get to uni.
- 07/12/2003
- 18:36:49
- Score: 17 out of 20 people found this comment useful.
The structure needs work. It doesn't flow correctly. I agree that the introduction is poor. It has no transition from one sentence to the other. It is basically short statements grouped together. This needs to be proof-read. ExpertMaster - read it aloud to yourself and then you will see some places that dont sound right....well then you should change them. I'll give this essay an 80%, which just scraps in for a smiley face....but still this could be better.
- 07/12/2003
- 17:51:50
- Score: 13 out of 16 people found this comment useful.
Politics not "Polotics". Informative essay, but unreferenced. You have to state where you got those facts from, they didnt just come out of your head. And by the way in the comment you wrote about your own essay down below.....the word "informational" does not exist....it should read "informative". I would give this essay a 78% because it is unreferenced and it is therefore under the 80% margin (which receives a smiley face)......it gets a straight one :|
- 07/12/2003
- 17:39:59
- Score: 7 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
This sounds like it has been copied striaght from a book.
- 05/12/2003
- 17:01:13
- Score: 9 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
Pacojaleb wrote:My stuff is mine and it just burns me to think you would think i could take credit for some thing i did not write. I have a very hard life with a few breif moments of sanity to cope with reality. maybe if you took the time to thourghly read them you might see the deepth that was put in to them. i have some of my stuff published in other places on the web under other names PAYNE ,HIPPIECHICK, Mandy, I guess that all i have to sayFrom HobaI havent seen it on the net. I said a couple of your lines were very similar to some poets I studied in poetry papers at University. I cant remember their names at the moment. I know the whole thing is not copied because the fact english is your second language shows in your poetry. And if you honestly feel what you are writing....wise up......what would that achieve?????? Write poetry on a topic that hasnt been covered as much...there is so much suicide poetry out there it becomes boring. Go and select a topic on something completely different, something unusual, write a poem, submit it and im sure it would be so much better. You have the skills to write good poetry, i just dont think that you are reaching your full potential......you are capable of writing better stuff than this. I have given it an average :| ill reserve the smileys for your better work to come.
- 04/12/2003
- 17:55:11
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
I have read something similar to this before. I think that you have taken someone elses poem and changed a few words and lines to make it your own...which would explain why it doesnt make sense in some places.
- 04/12/2003
- 17:25:40
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Well there you go....your experience is outdated...and therefore you comment is not valid
- 04/12/2003
- 16:57:23
- Score: 2 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
How long ago? I dont think you read my comment correctly........it has changed so much in the past two years.........when were you here?
- 04/12/2003
- 02:25:14
- Score: 13 out of 31 people found this comment useful.
First word that comes to mind is "Bitch" What were you? A tourist.......and how long ago did you come here. It has changed so much over the past two years for the worse. I have a f***king job, I work 12 hours a day...for a marketing company. No matter how hard you work something keeps coming up to take the money off you. Fines, bills, it keeps coming. You think you have finally saved money and bang..the government will find some way to take the money off you. Everyone I encounter that lives here suffers from the same problems....being a tourist and being a resident are totally different things...you only liked it here because you had the option to leave...try being stuck here...im sure you would follow suit of all the other young people who suffer from depression and who then commit suicide.......we have the highest teen suicide rate in the world per capita....something to be proud of dont you think. Before you come and write such smut about my opinions...take your tourist glasses off. New Zealanders are always nice to tourists...they are good at having a fake smile....come and live here then well see how long you keep that perspective. Your comment really showed that you are narrow-minded because you were unable to see my perspective....i dont want a hypocrite reading my essays.....so buzz off!
- 04/12/2003
- 00:44:15
- Score: 7 out of 33 people found this comment useful.
well i have a marketing company......its boring.....get out....get out now........before its too late...............NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
- 03/12/2003
- 02:07:42
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Hey i just thought of something. Theres a shampoo called "no more tears" you wouldnt get sued for using that would you? I liked the prologue...it does need work though..its of draft quality. Just take my suggestions into consideration. I definately think it should be written from 1st person narration, because it is auto-biographical, and not third person..because it seems to be too removed and doesn't let the audience connect to the story as much as they should
- 01/12/2003
- 23:50:47
- Score: 5 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
Thats just gross!
- 01/12/2003
- 15:29:58
- Score: 5 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
I think magicalrealmer has been eating too many magic mushrooms...whenever I see their comments they still annoy me..
- 01/12/2003
- 01:57:54
- Score: 5 out of 24 people found this comment useful.
Thats about US$125 now. Its such a ripoff. Yes you get fined for everything...see people its just not me complaining....a67 has been to New Zealand and they agree with me...ha look at that.
- 01/12/2003
- 01:40:07
- Score: 9 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
but you state it hasnt changed in your thesis statement in the introduction....it should be that it has changed...it has become more provocative....i was merely pointing out the fact that it didnt match your argument :)
- 01/12/2003
- 01:12:03
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
First off - noone is forced to do anything! What you do is your own perogative. Most of the people in the porn industry are doing it to support a drug problem.....and where does a drug problem come from.....internal weakness....inability to say NO! The only people that are threatened into it are those in the human trafficking trade, such as innocent young girls from Romania being sold off, and also young children in the Asian countries such as the Phillipines as well......these are the only ones that dont have a choice....they are usually locked up and submitted to highly abusive behaviour and death threats. These families try and justify selling their own flesh and blood into the porn industry, stating they are too poor and need the money to survive, placing the blame on the Government. The government shares about a quarter of the blame...but the government is not standing with a gun to their heads telling them to sell their children. There are always other honest means available such as cleaning....or something similar. This world is just full of sick individuals and the pornography trade is just the product of it. These are the fruits of the sexual revolution...and the dropping down of sexual taboo, that once kept the globe free from these offensive, denegrating expressions of mental illness that embodies the porn industry... Good topic...Good coverage....Good argument.....im giving it an 84% and a smiley face :)
- 01/12/2003
- 00:57:54
- Score: 6 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
I remember when I was little when mum and dad were together it sucked. Dad was always getting in the way of us doing things. He would purposely but the car up on bricks and pretend to fix it if we wanted to go to the beach, and things like that. I remember when I was 8, mum asked my 2 older brothers, 2 younger sisters and I what we thought about her and my dad separating......from my memory we all said yay, wahoo! We had financial security and plenty of money when my dad was around....but hey what's money, its the old cliche of "money doesn't buy you happiness". I still live by that philosophy, although money would buy me a plane ticket out of New Zealand and that would bring me much happiness....(read my "Top Ten Things I hate about New Zealand"). Well written essay....covering a controversial and relevant topic....90% from me and a smiley face :)
- 01/12/2003
- 00:44:56
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Good work, nice clear argument about the absence of change in marketing trends. Don't you think that Marketing has changed though...it has become more pyschological, and more forceful. Compare the adverts of the early 1990s to today, there is alot more blatant sexual innuendo. Although I do not agree with the argument it is well researched and thorough. It receives an 85% from me and a smiley face :)
- 01/12/2003
- 00:36:11
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Well researched. That must have been a shyte of a research paper to write. Well referenced and cited.....not exciting to read but it covers the topic well and is therefore deservant of 85% and a smiley face :)
- 01/12/2003
- 00:17:23
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
I agree with CCMustangs there are a few too many grammatical errors, but who cares this was hilarious. It is completely full of sarcasitc innuendo and I love it. I dont think you wanted to write this assignment at all...and it shows. Nonetheless I liked it and its getting an 85% from me and a smiley :)
- 30/11/2003
- 21:22:28
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Good essay, makes a firm argument. I don't like any of the snack foods you mentioned....I hate potato chips...don't eat hot-dogs, and Pizza is really yuck! That could be because I have liver damage and can't eat these foods, they are too high in fat....lol. Anyways this was a good essay and Im giving it a grade of 90% well done and it receives a :)
- 30/11/2003
- 21:19:39
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Good informative essay...not too many mistakes. Dont worry about writing when you were sick you can hardly tell. I am going to give this essay 85% and a smiley
- 30/11/2003
- 20:17:42
- Score: 7 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Well written. It is obvious from this that you have got to the Crux of Crucible, and this essay provides a good overview and insight into the plot of the story.Ill proof-read for you, (correction first)transition X transitioning (3rd line)understanding X understand (3 lines up from bottom of the 1st paragraph)This sentence in the conclusion needs work, could have more clarity.The transition from him believing that he is a fraud to him deciding that he is worth his reputation to die is amazing.I liked this essay, and I am giving it 90% and a smiley face :)
- 30/11/2003
- 20:11:12
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Thanks for the credit, but this wasn't written by me...lol..it was written by Samuel Coleridge. I submitted this because it is an attachment to my study notes on "Christabel"...so that you guys could read it and know what im talking about. Samuel is one of the greats and I would love to be able to write stuff like this but im not quite there yet.
- 30/11/2003
- 20:00:44
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I found this essay very interesting, and relevant. You could have elaborated on the social stigmas faced by Toby a bit more because it would have helped to emphasis societal views on gender a bit more. You could have also explained how Toby became to be non-sexed..the medical reason behind it. It would make it seem more possible and scientific and help to reinforce your argument. Overall though I found this stimulating, and I found myself agreeing with your argument. And the point about Boys doing less chores than girls is so true. It would be more interesting to see if this is more evident in a single-mother home, in which there is no male role model. I come from one and i think that it makes boys lazier. I am giving this essay 88% and a smiley :)
- 30/11/2003
- 19:52:41
- Score: 7 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Full of grammatical errors. This story sounds rather highfaluted and over-embellished. More detail is needed in the story, it is rather abstract and tends to skip over important events. You could have focused more on how Dylan felt and acted as he progressed through the lessons. You skipped far too much. I am giving this a grade of 70%, which is average :| because it could have been better.
- 30/11/2003
- 19:05:02
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I have no money..I have 6 months left on my degree..after then im gone.
- 30/11/2003
- 18:47:54
- Score: 9 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
First off I would like to say "BRAD IS A PIG"! And I can relate to your story of doctor's saying there is nothing wrong you with...they do it here all the time. I had some sort of massive skin allergy in which I had swelling the size of golf balls all over my body...I went to three different doctors, they just said..yeah i dont know what it is, and they didnt bother finding out....one of them was a skin specialist. I had this for six months...it would flare up so badly every couple of weeks and would drive me crazy. I tried everything, moisturiser, calamine lotion, anti-histamine cream, vinegar the works. What finally stopped it was when i thought f***k it, im going to try and burn it to stop itching, and I rubbed "deep heat" which is anti-inflammatory cream into them and put tape over it....it burned but they finally went away and I haven't had it back since....im hoping i dont get it again. Health problems absolutely suck, especially ones in which surgery is required. Im sure the abnormal cells are nothing to worry about though...your body can fight off small clusters of abnormal cells, its when you get to the large clumps that you are in for a problem....but those are very rare. You are just lucky you found a doctor that took the time to find out what was wrong, and that he did a good job so you still get to keep your ovaries. There are some unfortunate people out there that are not that lucky. My mum also had uterine cancer, apparently because she had put her body through too much strain having 5 kids....she had a hysterectomy and is living a healthy life. One thing I do recommend though is getting lots of calcium...because if anything does happen, not that it will, it affects your calcium stores, so its a good idea to keep your bones strong just in case. This was a good story...apart from the fact you should have said "f*** off Brad you insensitive mongrel", its the truth...I'm giving the story a 95% and a smiley :)
- 30/11/2003
- 18:37:43
- Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Where are the paragraphs! Where's the bibliography! Where's the justice!Nike is typical corporate America. Getting filthy rich off other peoples' misfortune. You would think that Nike would provide adequate working conditions and enough money for these poor people to live on, when they sell their products for such an exorbitant price and make like 500% profit.....DISGUISTING! One of the many reasons why I choose to boycott purchasing the all-consumed-Greed that is Nike. Yeah DON'T DO IT NIKE!I am giving this essay an 80% grade...would have been more but no pragraphs, bibliography.....improve for next time. This essay just scraps in for a smiley :)
- 30/11/2003
- 17:36:50
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This doesn't follow an essay structure...it is more like notes. Not good enough for a senior in college...this is something a first year or grade 13 student could have written. Also im not happy with the fact there are so many statistics stated that are not cited....tell us where you are getting the statistics from. I don't believe that you got 95% for this.....drop it down by about 30 to 65% and it is more realistic. For this half ass effort I am awarding you a straight face :|
- 30/11/2003
- 17:29:21
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Very contentious issue....but each to their own I say. It should be legal, the option should be. The whole saying of judge others as you would want to be judged yourself comes to thought. Can't believe Bush made it illegal again...he is such a retard, just undid 30 years of progress in a moment of stupid ape-like action. 77% for this one and a :|
- 28/11/2003
- 02:05:57
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
HAHA mummy's boy/girl....lol. This was very informative, coherent, well structured and with very few grammatical errors if any. Another job well done.......90% and a smiley :)
- 28/11/2003
- 01:47:18
- Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Good structure.....nice and short....makes a change after reading your longer pieces.....phew! lol....liked it, covered the topic well.....88% and a smiley :)
- 28/11/2003
- 01:45:08
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Hehehe I liked this one. Especially the reference to the Sally's (Salvation Army).....another very good job by you. Because this one was slightly humourous I will give it 94% and a.........SMILEY :)
- 28/11/2003
- 01:41:36
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
This is not as good as your other essays because there is such a large mass of feminist writing out there, and you failed to utilise it. Examples from other feminist writers such as Rosaldo and Lamphere would have given it so much more credit and it would have given it the authoratative touch it needs. This one gets a 75% from me, and because it is below 80% it receives a straight face and not a smiley. :|
- 28/11/2003
- 01:31:20
- Score: 4 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Why have people been giving this a sad face? Perhaps they are jealous? This is a good essay, it is well researched, Phishstyx obviously knows what they are talking about, and it provides a very coherent and well structured character analysis. Another good job. This one receives a 92% grade and therefore a smiley face :)
- 28/11/2003
- 01:15:22
- Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
I liked this! It was well thought out and brought up some really good issues. It also gives us an insight into the psychy of the reader which is always great. A good, well rounded essay. Im giving it a grade of 90% and also a smiley :)
- 28/11/2003
- 01:07:06
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
"I hereby swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God"This essay is very average. It doesn't really seem to answer the question fully, it still leaves questions. It also lists examples that are hard to relate to and they don't capture the reader's attention. It would have been better like Pixel_for_life has commented to have included perspectives from different classes...would have made it better. I am giving this essay 68% and it therefore gets a straight face from me. More research was needed.
- 27/11/2003
- 23:03:41
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I mean honestly what kind of comparison is this. I hardly think that it is relevant to compare a first world country to a third world population. Canada with all the luxuries and opportunities, especially for women. With India being a third world country, with 1 billion population, high rates of disease (especially HIV) and extreme poverty, people not having enough food to eat. A better contrast would have been Canada and England etc.
- 27/11/2003
- 01:47:49
- Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Poe's stories are short, and they are very hard to comprehend. These lecture notes cover the psychoanalytical readings and not the literal ones.
- 26/11/2003
- 21:14:03
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
Come on people, leave comments...It is much more interesting when you do, and also you get points for writing comments.
- 26/11/2003
- 17:47:04
- Score: 9 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
Good, well researched and argued essay. Polished and cognitive, well done. I am giving this 90% and therefore it receives a smiley face.
- 26/11/2003
- 00:11:34
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Okay, but this barely scraps the surface. You didn't even compare character motivation, you didn't analyse their personalities...this is evident this was written the night before it was due, and for a first year sophomore shame on you. I am only going to give you 65% for this because there is a lot of room for more development, and therefore you receive a straight face.
- 25/11/2003
- 23:37:58
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Ill trade places with you, you come and live here then we will see if you are so optimistic....you wouldnt last 10 seconds.
- 25/11/2003
- 16:13:05
- Score: 7 out of 30 people found this comment useful.
Wow you got away with this in 2nd year college, they must be leniant. Usually they expect around 2,000 words. I think that this is a lazy approach to the topic, more like something that would have been submitted in high school, and it could have been researched in more depth......3 works cited.....is not enough! I'll give it a 65% which scraps in for an average.
- 25/11/2003
- 16:10:38
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Good content....structure needs work.....where are the paragraphs? Paragraph people, makes it so much more coherent and pleasnt to read. Overall very good descriptive essay....I'm giving it 85%....it lost marks due to the lack of paragraphs.......but it still gets a smiley face.
- 25/11/2003
- 16:07:42
- Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
This essay is good content wise, but it could do like a little re-structuring. You keep switching between 1st person (I) and third person (we), which doesn't work. This essay would have been much better if you had addressed it on a third person level right the way through, it is persuasive to the reader when you do this and it also makes it more credible as we are not being reminded that it is personal opinion like we are when (I) is used. I'd give it an 80% so it gets a smiley.
- 25/11/2003
- 15:04:27
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I wrote this straight out of my head to gain points, probably why there are no mistakes...lol....no stress. Help me make it to the top ten people..........RATE AND COMMENT ON ALL OF MY ESSAYS, AND COMMENTS.
- 25/11/2003
- 01:32:09
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
It sounds like you have copied off the players profiles. I know nothing about baseball nor do I care to, but this essay shows that you know what you are taking about. You could of however made the argument stronger, by mentioning something like, "baseball has changed over time". That would have set it up in a more argumentative light so it would have been more persuasive. The conclusion could be stronger also. I am however giving it a smiley face because it does stay on topic, flows correctly and doesn't have too many grammatical errors.
- 24/11/2003
- 01:21:53
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
As someone who was an arts student, I don't find this particularly convincing. It is not really an argument. The question should have been "What is Contrast?" That would have actually made more sense. I would have also described contrast two objects situation in relation to each other, and I wouldn't put 1, 2a etc down the side of the paragraphs, it is distracting and unnecessary. Lack of conclusion. I dunno Yankee this isnt one of your better essays...done in a rush perhaps? :) I am going to give it an average.
- 23/11/2003
- 20:59:27
- Score: 14 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
This is pretty good, but what about structuralist and constructionist theory. You have done a good job covering marxist and functionalist theory but there are different perpectives that could have done with a bit of attention. Otherwise a very good effort because I know how hard essays are that are all theory based, especially when you have to apply Marx to it.
- 23/11/2003
- 20:01:55
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This is a good essay. I believe that the anti-fat culture arises from Government propaganda. Here is why. Obesity is always correlated with unhealthiness. Any disease out there is pretty much put down to obesity. For example; heart attacks, you are told you are more at risk, and also we are told that fat people are more likely to suffer from diabetes. These "obesity" diseases then cost the Government millions of dollars in health care, so they publish fatism propaganda, and portray obese people in a negative light to attempt to make them conform to societal pressures and loose weight, ie. all those public health campaigns centre around healthy living and maintaining a "healthy" weight. The government doesn't realise that it increases the problem. It causes other weight issues such as anorexia nervosa and bulemia, which are equally or if not more dangerous than obesity itself. It also esculates the obesity problem as it usually results out of comfort eating due to societies damning nature giving obese people a low self-esteem and the belief that they are worthless. If the Government woke up and took a look at how it is dealing with the situation, obesity wouldnt be as rife. Methods based on negativity and prejudice towards others always produces negative results. To remedy the situation they should be looking at improving the value system of people and the image they have of them self, so as they feel confident to get off the couch, stop binge eating, and become an active, outgoing member of society.
- 23/11/2003
- 19:23:58
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
The title acts as an introduction i knew what it was about. It is hard to write an introduction for something that is written in point form and also for something that is based on unproven theoretical science. I found this essay very informative and interesting, however a little short for being a senior paper. It is however good none the less and will receiving a smiley face from me.
- 23/11/2003
- 18:49:03
- Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
In response to your comment....I absolutely hate it here, there are no good points, so therefore I cannot give an account of something that doesn't exist
- 23/11/2003
- 17:38:59
- Score: 18 out of 30 people found this comment useful.
This is rubbish, and it should be rejected by admin. It is a whole bunch of non-credible facts, spewed onto the page out of the middle of nowhere. At least people would have been able to use those if you had actually cited them, but since you didn't nothing can be taken from this paper, except that your house is worth less than $300,000. Frivilous information, with no use to any of us.
- 23/11/2003
- 17:23:35
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This essay covers the symptoms, in order to diagnose an alcoholic you have to be obeservant and take these things into consideration...(as quoted from the text)Craving: A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.* Loss of control: The inability to limit one's drinking on any given occasion.* Physical dependence: Withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, occur when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking.* Tolerance: The need to drink greater amounts of alcohol in order to "get high" ("FQA - Alcohol").I have grown up witnessing alcoholism, and from this explanation of the symptoms i would be able to pick out alcohol dependency. This essay was another fine example of why I don't drink alcohol. Good job.
- 21/11/2003
- 20:11:50
- Score: 7 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
If you want to read the poem "Christabel" I have submitted it as another essay. I tried to add it as a file here but it didn't seem to work.
- 21/11/2003
- 19:49:15
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I am not going to Diss it, I am going to give it some constructive criticism. Ok first, you need to work on your sentence structure, some of them don't read correctly..try reading it aloud, or participating in group editing. Secondly, I don't think it works to mix in historical facts, such as Hitlers regime, and then later talk about a fictional book, they don't relate. It is such a controversial topic and therefore actualy situations and statistics work better and make the argument more forceful than fictonal stories.....just a few suggestions.....I am giving it an average, 60% grade.
- 21/11/2003
- 18:10:26
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
You could have mentioned something about the fact that oddly enough sickle-cell anaemia provides protection against malaria- a disease transmitted via mosquitos, and that is why it is found in certain populations, because the mosquitos who carry malaria only live in these arid environments, and therefore nature has selected for sickle-cell anaemia as it provides an immunity against this disease.
- 21/11/2003
- 17:53:55
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
This essay is quite good, it has an extensive knowledge of the subject, but it would have been better if you had also mentioned the symptoms.
- 21/11/2003
- 17:46:46
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This essay is shallow, it barely scraps the surface of the philosophy of love. You have failed to put forth an emotive argument about love....more description is needed, use similes, metaphors, allusions, to make it stronger and more passionate.
- 21/11/2003
- 17:36:47
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
In reply to your comment saying that you used business week and New York Times as your sources, they are incorrectly cited, you should have put which the date of the editions and the page numbers of where you got it from.
- 21/11/2003
- 00:40:40
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
You could have mentioned something about vitamin supplements. Alot of people take these if they are eating unhealthily believing that it will make up for an improper diet. You could have added in that the body doesn't properly absorb these. Then I think you would have pretty much covered everything
- 19/11/2003
- 21:20:17
- Score: 8 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
It is an average essay. Rather brief and point-like. There is room for more indepth detail and discussion, although you said yourself it is a short book. The introduction could do with a little re-working as some parts sound like they have been copied from the prologue. Other than that not a bad effort for a Grade 12 paper, although I would have given it 10% less. It is an 85% paper.
- 19/11/2003
- 21:12:56
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
although it is not a A+ essay it is an A+ essay. First annoying thing I picked out. My second contention is with the lack of paragraphs. Paragraphs = coherence. Content wise it is good, although it is rather descriptive and doesn't have any obvious argument behind it. I would be it an A- myself.
- 19/11/2003
- 20:33:12
- Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
Your friends parents are sick. They fly in wearing rose coloured glasses. If they didn't have their US$ in which they can exchange and get more money in NZ$, and they had to try and make money here and survive they would probably die from stress.
- 19/11/2003
- 01:00:47
- Score: 10 out of 33 people found this comment useful.
I agree I hate Frankenstein too. Its boring, pretentious and it has really creepy issues about incest and sexual taboo
- 18/11/2003
- 23:20:11
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This essay makes me feel guilty. It just reiterated what I already knew. I'm never home to cook or shop so I have to eat fastfood, although New Zealand's fast food doesnt have the same high fat content as the states, i still feel guilty.
- 18/11/2003
- 22:45:00
- Score: 9 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
I have already written a comment it was a good one too but i think i forgot to press enter or something, so I will have to try and repeat it.The essay is quite good, but you need more written sources, ones that are cited, instead of relying heavily on internet sources. Written texts are more reliable and credible than internet sources, which are usually propaganda based. Walmarts wages arent too bad. 28hrs a week is classified as part time work in New Zealand. I worked the pay out $15,000 pa for 28 hrs a week comes to be US$10.30 an hr. For the same work here we would be getting paid US$4.50 an hr. So when you compare the two the pay rates Walmarts pay rates arent too bad. The US$4.50 is equivalent to NZ$8 an hr. So when you calculate that out your looking at NZ$11,650 pa, or in US$6,552 which is nothing. On that one person can barely afford their accomodation and food expenses. My suggestion is to be grateful for those pay rates, they are a lot higher than what other people in different parts of the world receive.
- 18/11/2003
- 19:44:27
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
I also found that the lack of paragraph structure hindered the essay. Paragraphs were invented for a reason. It separates different ideas in an essay. It helps people to grasp what is being said. You also need to do some proof-reading and editing. Try reading it out aloud and you will see there are some places in which incorrect words have been used that disrupt the flow of the essay. The lack of introduction also makes it hard for us to establish your argument. It is in the introductory paragraph that you should have established that you were writing a book report on Holt's article, because quite frankly I didn't know what you were doing until I wrote your comment posted below. In order to improve this essay, you need to begin with a thesis statement for each paragraph. This is a sentence that tells us what the paragraph is going to be about. The rest of the paragraph then explains the thesis statement and gives examples to make it clearer. This however made some interesting points, because I was never forced to read in this manner. We had a reading log, in which we would read books of our choice and rate them, pretty much in the same way that it works on here, and I loved reading when I was young. This would have also gained impetus if you had discussed your own personal experience in relation to Holt's book. It adds reader interest and also helps to clarify your argument much more as you would be giving examples. This essay is not too bad, it is of first draft quality. It would be good if you took these suggestions, edited this essay and then re-submitted it so we could all see the polished product.
- 18/11/2003
- 18:52:41
- Score: 10 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I am absolutely shocked ... you are never lost for words
- 18/11/2003
- 17:38:40
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
I found this essay very informative and interesting. As someone who has suffered from bouts of depression myself, I am able to relate to this essay. Just another point is about the medical profession. People who are suffering the symptoms of depression, nausea, rapid heart beat etc, go to the doctors to get a diagnosis and are merely dismissed as having "nothing wrong with them". Doctors need to take more notice of depression and the affects it has on the body.
- 18/11/2003
- 16:32:37
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I have seen both of these movies several times and I have also taken a film paper that analysed "The Castle", I think I am qualified to make an accusation of plagarism. More qualified than you are to make that statement
- 18/11/2003
- 02:14:19
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
Very informative on something that is contentious and controversial. I think it was pre-meditated murder committed by O.J Simpson, he probably paid the police to act like complete imbosiles and to do the worst investigation in a murder case ever recorded.
- 18/11/2003
- 01:33:20
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
You find out in the mail, and you are like oh "F*** it!!!". Don't get me started on the ridiculous amounts of mail you receive each day
- 17/11/2003
- 23:57:48
- Score: 11 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
I wrote this just as a means of publicising how crap New Zealand is to save innocent people from being fooled into coming here by the tourism board.
- 17/11/2003
- 22:26:19
- Score: 29 out of 39 people found this comment useful.
I watched my father die of terminal cancer and there is no way I would have "euthanised" him if he had asked. When its your time to go, its your time to go, and if you suffer from some disease maybe its because you had a life lesson to learn.
- 17/11/2003
- 15:02:28
- Score: 20 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
This sounds like one of those pepped up comments used as a means of advertising propaganda. Are you a coke (coca-cola) addict?
- 17/11/2003
- 01:34:41
- Score: 2 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Yes women are sensitive because they have more sense! Feminist critics would totally shred this paper to pieces. Emotion is a necessary component it helps to solve situations in areas where brute strength alone fails. This is a very chauvinist piece of writing, but then again Pixel is at boarding school so he probably felt intimidated by the Girls, maybe they were better at the training than him perhaps?
- 16/11/2003
- 19:55:21
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I agree with Zoggie, the conclusion needs work. I would actually turn the conclusion into the 7th paragraph, it would actually create a good pathway off which a strong conclusion could be based. Just an idea... you keep relating Euthanasia back to the times before modern medicine, saying that it was a more dignified natural way to die. If this is the case, wouldn't it be more ethical to with-hold modern medicine and effectively commit Euthanasia?
- 16/11/2003
- 19:30:18
- Score: 23 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
Don't try and worm your way out of the satisfactory comment ...hehehe... I didn't think it was that bad. If you had cited some other people's work it would have made it much more credible. I like to see the facts.
- 14/11/2003
- 02:11:54
- Score: 9 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
Im not interested in religion at all, and I almost didn't bother reading it once I saw the full title, but it was actually pretty good, it had a clear structure and provided a solid argument.
- 14/11/2003
- 01:52:00
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This essay is good. It has a clear flowing style which helps you to get your argument across nicely. It think that it is deservant of its 88% grade.
- 14/11/2003
- 01:29:18
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
and for others marijuana is the cause of perpetual laziness, and the total apathy that comes with being unemployed, or homeless, and in the States surviving on food stamps. All drugs that alter your senses should not be legal ... that includes alcohol. I dont care if this is not a popular comment .. it is a logical one.
- 12/11/2003
- 21:00:01
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Yeah don't lie Pixel you wrote this yesterday ... and didn't want to admit it. Come on we all know what you really want is to still be alive in 100 years and living on the moon.
- 11/11/2003
- 17:56:06
- Score: 9 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
Yeah pretty good. I would have simplified Lacan's theory more. I thought it was Eve Sedgwick who took Freud's Oedipus theory and developed it into the Oedipus complex. I thought the mirror stage was all about how it encourages infants to always strive for something more than they have, which then gets continued on into adulthood, where adults have a perpetual cycle of never-ending want
- 10/11/2003
- 21:19:17
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
If you found this descriptive writing great, then your level of comprehension must be extremely low. I think you need special attention ..... get a tutor.
- 10/11/2003
- 20:39:37
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Are you describing a human? I have never seen a dark-skinned person with flaming red hair, except maybe a clown wearing a wig. The sound of the waves crashing does not fit in with the sense of sight. In order to make poetry emotive, the descriptions have to correlate with the correct sense. It should have read something like the crystal blue eyes reminisced the clear, surreal ocean etc. The description of the powdered baby made me feel sick not relaxed. The transition of Kevin as a baby and Kevin as an old man doesnt work, it is missing the link between the two. You should have added in a line or two about how youth fades so quickly and the vulnerability of life, then moved onto the aged Kevin. Taking a look at Shakespeares Sonnet 60, may be helpful here. Okay I also have another contention. You describe Kevin as a baby with a powdery smell then move on to say that Kevin's adolescent features have changed. CHECK THE DICTIONARY!!!! An adolescent is a teenager, and I wouldn't classify 13-20 year olds as having a powdery smell or as a baby. And the analogy between the piece of glass and Kevin as an old man doesn't work, it evokes the wrong imagery. And my last point of criticism.... I dont equate the smell of a nursing home filled with medicine - with aging beauty, I equate it with stinky old people rotting to death.
- 09/11/2003
- 23:16:29
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
Some of this essay sounds plagiarised, like it is taken directly from film reviews, ie "think Cinderella stories and ABBA" in the first line. I find it hard to enjoy an essay when it is obvious the ideas are not the authors own
- 09/11/2003
- 21:37:45
- Score: 5 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This essay is not very convincing, because the vocabulary used is too bland and simple to make it a very forceful and stimulating argument. Remember the thesaurus is your friend
- 09/11/2003
- 21:12:02
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
If you look its "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens, they have cited Dickens throughout the essay, which means that they are citing directly from the book. Most likely the penguin edition.
- 09/11/2003
- 20:32:21
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
ok its really irritating me how you take other peoples comments and try and label them as your own. This time you have taken my comment and mixed it with ccmustangs to try and make a ripoff comment of your own. Is this what you do with your essays????????PLAGIARIST
- 09/11/2003
- 14:57:38
- Score: 8 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
you didnt have to imitate my comment.
- 09/11/2003
- 13:55:48
- Score: 9 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I haven't read the time machine, but this essay gave me a good grasp on the themes and the overall plot of the story. Well done.
- 07/11/2003
- 15:25:14
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
If you are going to cite Taylor throughout your essay you have to cite where you obtained the source from in the bibliography. It will give your essay more credence. And we are not all psychic we need to be told.
- 07/11/2003
- 13:39:12
- Score: 9 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
There are too many grammatical mistakes in this essay ie: plain = plane. Also this essay seems to not grasp the real theme behind "Hatchet". I remember reading this when I was 14 in school, and from what I can remember it is all about human strength and the ability to overcome trials and tribulations if you put your mind to it. I feel that this essay fails to really connect with the emotional strength that is sprawled in the pages of this booklet. This essay would have been better if you had taken the hatchet, from which the title was derived and explained it as a means of imagery for the thematic plot of the story, and it would have also connected the plot summary you have provided with an analysis of the book. In a book report it is all very well giving a plot summary, but you also have to analyse it as well to show that you are able to comprehend and critically analyse the work. Once you do this you will see that your grades will dramatically improve. From my experience teachers are not after a shortened version of the story, they are after the connection you felt with it. If you add some emotional aspects like how Brian felt disparaged and completely alone when he emerged from the plane crash, but through inner strength he manages to overcome the lack of food, sickness and the psychological strain that occurs being naked in the canadian wilderness.
- 06/11/2003
- 21:40:52
- Score: 7 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
Dont start a paragraph with because, it is a conjunction and therefore does not work. Never use etc. in a sentence it looks very untidy and disrupts the flow of the sentence. Also the Big Bang Theory could have been explained more clearly in you own words instead of using definitions out of the dictionary. Putting a personal touch into it, makes the essay much more coherent, because if the author understands what they are writing about, the reader will be able to understand it too. Other than that .... good job and keep on submitting
- 06/11/2003
- 19:51:32
- Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Is it just me? Or isnt there something quite disturbing lurking in the introductory paragraph. It is in regards to the statue of the boy and I quote "I was able to get so close to the statue that I actually got in trouble for touching it to feel the texture of the different parts of the creation" .......... hmmmmm ....repressed Freudian desires perhaps?
- 06/11/2003
- 19:20:16
- Score: 12 out of 31 people found this comment useful.
This sounds like a documentary that would be on BBC World. Well done.
- 06/11/2003
- 19:11:53
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Even though I know nothing about Latin American politics ...im living in the antipodes ... I find myself agreeing with your argument, which is always a good sign.
- 06/11/2003
- 12:46:49
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This essay is good, but it would be stronger if you had paid attention and combated the argument that globalisation will wipe out individual cultures as it enforces ethnocentrism on a large scale
- 06/11/2003
- 12:28:08
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
I like the christmas tree example ... very festive. I like it
- 05/11/2003
- 22:10:53
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
if you are quoting something, you need to cite where you are quoting it from. Otherwise it is considered plagiarism
- 05/11/2003
- 21:50:00
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
First sentence too long winded. You also need to cite the statistics. It will give your argument credibility.
- 05/11/2003
- 21:46:04
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
this sounds like one of those baby sitter club stories - maybe your new career?:)
- 05/11/2003
- 19:40:16
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
This essay is a bit like a race. It seems like someone has said ready, set, go, you've taken a deep breath in and then just let loose. Don't bottle up your emotions for too long, otherwise they'll kill ya. luv :)
- 05/11/2003
- 19:34:37
- Score: 5 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
First sentence needs re-writing -not gramatically correct. Affects not effects. It is good, I like the poetic style, but there is something missing, it doesn\'t have that spark that makes a good essay, a great essay. I\'m sure you know what I mean aye Pagan :)
- 05/11/2003
- 19:27:18
- Score: 4 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
The first paragraph is very dramatic, it sounds like one of those CCF advertisements. It is good, captures my attention and interest. Good range of credible sources cited as well. Well done!
- 05/11/2003
- 19:19:25
- Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
This essay is full of grammatical errors which diminish the potency of the argument. More proof-reading is required. Maybe try peer editoring.
- 05/11/2003
- 16:29:52
- Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Im too bored to finish reading it. Could have been written with more passion.
- 05/11/2003
- 16:15:38
- Score: 4 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
Good point, and also when im reading it, the punctuation is really screwed up. Some places are missing a full stop, others have a comma where a semi-colon should have been used. I found that it really irritated me and took my attention away from the content
- 05/11/2003
- 16:07:52
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Since the essay was to be based soley on the movie aspect of Gladiator and not historical events I will not be using the link as it does not relate. Thanks for taking the time to comment :)
- 05/11/2003
- 15:52:59
- Score: 16 out of 20 people found this comment useful.
Hmmmmm is this something that is going to be handed in? It seems like you have just gone onto the internet and copy and pasted definitions. There is no coherence in this, and well really no argument as such. It leaves you saying "huh what the hell was that?" An impression I don't think you want to leave the person grading it. My suggestion, decribe it in clear, linking sentences, starting with a thesis statement, and also give it more substance then it would be a lot better. :)
- 04/11/2003
- 18:12:07
- Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Im sorry but this is absolute rubbish. Well done for writing an extremely controversial piece of writing, but the content leaves something to be desired. It definately shows the writer is Jewish. Very opinionated indeed. Would have been better if it had been written from an objective point of view and had taken into account the plight of the Palestinians instead of labelling them "Palestinian Islamic extremists". It is very narrow-minded attitudes like the ones expressed in this essay which had led to the current situation. If the writer of this essay wants to make a difference, they should look to changing their own negative outlook towards Palestinians and accept that both Palestine and Israel have a hand to play in it. One side is not more wrong than the other
- 03/11/2003
- 13:48:04
- Score: 17 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
Well researched. Could have been livened up a bit. It is rather difficult to read at times where there are clusters of statistics. Maybe some different writing styles could have been employed to liven it up a bit. Otherwise good.
- 03/11/2003
- 13:37:03
- Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.