this is a well written essay, the only issue that i have with it is that the sentences seem really choppy so it takes away from the smooth flow of the essay...ya knoe what i mean?
- 16/12/2004
- 19:55:23
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
alright...here is the deal. you made a couple mistake that i would like to advise you on never doing, ever again. don't say in a paper "in this paper i will do this..." never ever say that. then "firstly...secondly...thirdly" is okay-ish. its somewhat frowned upon. but its okay-ish. and the bigges thing you should get out of this paper and never ever do again is say "in conclusion"...i promise you, if i put that is a paper for my AP English class my teacher would throw my paper away, give me a zero, and hit me in the face.
- 02/10/2004
- 04:11:58
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
your grammar is off in places. and seeing as this is an opinion paper...you should state that, in my opinion. i realize that generally this is a "no no" however, in cases where people will disagree with you, it will anger less to say "in my opinion"
- 02/10/2004
- 04:02:34
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
this was an okay essay, just at parts it seemed a little disjointed. and try to spell out numbers that are under 10 (not including fractions).
- 18/11/2003
- 21:29:00
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.