You would do well to research the other reasons why America (along with every other country besides Denmark and Sweden) is criticized over their un-involvement in the war. Simply, no one would allow the Jewish refugees to enter into their country. All boarders were closed. The US actually stated at the Evian Conference, "America doesn't have a racial problem and we don't want to import one." If you could add this (it may be a bit of playing devil's advocate) you would show that you are able to look at two sides of an issue objectively and make this stronger.
- 23/02/2004
- 16:09:02
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
First, you titled this "Life and Works of Mahatma Gandhi," I think that is a bit much for this essay. I would suggest something like "a brief overview of Gandhi" only because you don't go into great detail to title it thus. Also, it would be good to combine your first two paragraphs so that you introduce your main subject straight off... makes it stronger.
- 23/02/2004
- 16:02:24
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Your intro paragraph sets the reader up for a book report rather than an essay. Your second paragraph would work better as your intro.
- 23/02/2004
- 15:52:59
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I too have questioned the role of Smurfette as I look back, however you did a very good job of bringing to light a few thoughts that hadn't occured to me. However, your third paragraph is a little redundant, could use some polishing to help make the essay stronger.
- 23/02/2004
- 15:42:16
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.