a good essay that covers alot of points about self harm. i find that you repeat yourself alot though.This is an issue that is very close to me, as i have in the past been a self mutilator, and i still crave it. i find the main reason why i harm myself is that for a little while the physical pain that i have just caused tends to override the emotional pain that i'm feeling. i find i cut and burn myself more or crave it more, when i'm stressed or depressed. i also find i get piercings when i'm stressed.just thought i'd give you some ideas from someone who has experienced it. I really do enjoy life and would never commit suicide i just find pain a release. if you want to know more about this i find the song "Bad Habit" by the Dresden Dolls, is really accurate.
- 12/08/2005
- 10:16:15
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
ok i have no idea what this is.. and i'd like to agree with murtle don't conform with the popular crowd. being yourself not who everyone wants you to be is alot more rewarding. popular people are often just lemmings following what they are told is "cool"
- 16/11/2004
- 03:55:42
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Omg you are amazing if i could rate this 100 times i would. this describes exactly what i am going through. It has helped me alot to come to terms with what i am doing. Thank you so much. it has helped my friend too. before this we were trying to figure out why we can't stop but this has made so much clear. Thank you.
- 14/11/2004
- 04:47:08
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
You have some serious problems. This is feral and you should not have submitted this to an essay sight. There are places for this kind of trash and its not here
- 10/11/2004
- 15:38:55
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
What is this? it doesn't make any sense to me, and i don't see how it could to anyone.
- 07/11/2004
- 17:08:23
- Score: 12 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
i agree that horoscopes really don't mean anything and are not specific at all. and wel pretty much a load of b.s. but hey if people wanna believe that their lives are controlled by the stars then why not. i mean some people believe their lives are controlled or at least influenced by god and there is just as much proof of the power of the lord and of the stars. ..a very well written essay, with clear arguments. i would just like to point out that everything in the media can and does manipulate people and how they live their lives. good work
- 07/11/2004
- 04:11:37
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
thanx for commenting on my essays guys. in response to kingleonardo i'm not so much trying to detch myself from love but from my friends around me. my two best friends are falling inlove and in doing so i'm fading away. as for the ending i was trying to get at nothing is left but the darkness that surrounded me. i hope that explains a little.imaproundmac: i understand there is also beauty in life and i completely agree but this was written in a state of depression where i felt there was nothing but the ugly side and darkness and the red is the blood that is the result of the darkness i was feeling. i hope this helps anyones understanding of my feelings when i wrote this piece
- 29/10/2004
- 19:28:08
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
hey i like it.. very left open to your own imagination
- 24/10/2004
- 06:31:31
- Score: 8 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
a good essay with good points.. but i think you could have expanded on it a bit. I think communication should have been a reason in itself, because communiation is very important in a friendship. but a good essay all up.
- 14/10/2004
- 06:23:28
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
hmm this was amusing.. you were overly detailed in some areas and under detailed in others. i would like to know what brand of tea to buy because i have never seen powdered tea.. also you should specify that you are making ice tea as well.. all in all a good essay very amusing
- 14/10/2004
- 06:19:31
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
You make good points, but the type of oppertunity, technology and unity you speak of can be found in other places around the world too.. Australia for example. Also the huge masses of technology being media are controlling what you see of the rest of the world. this is true of every country, but you cannot know that America is the best for all these things because you do not know the situation in other countries. also your examples were broad generalisations and do not apply to everyone in America. there are people who are greatly disadvantaged in America just as there are in any other country
- 14/10/2004
- 06:14:15
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Well done and very amusing. There are a few points in there i can really relate to, such as shopping attendants following you around. I had a lady ask me once "excuse me did some nail polish accidently fall into your pocket?" seriously idiot if it was an accident would i know about it???well done great observations
- 13/10/2004
- 04:14:29
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
a good piece. you really are passionate about language, i personally am much more interested in communication. but i have never seen language expressedin such a way. i question though are you considering other language not just vocal?
- 12/10/2004
- 05:12:25
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
If this is intended to be two poems as the title suggests i preferd the second one "I am an actress", but they are both good. well done
- 09/10/2004
- 07:18:10
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
i really liked the rhythm of this, it's very engaging, i like it how your poems are all of a different style. yet all the ones i have read have been rather dark.. and i like it, i really enjoy reading your work
- 08/10/2004
- 06:08:39
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
i like how you've put something so beautiful, the love of 2 people, in such a dark setting. the contrast is great, love in a graveyard.. your use of description give the reader great mental images, i personally would love to be the girl in your poem, it's eerily beautiful.
- 08/10/2004
- 06:02:39
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
again i really enjoyed reading this poem, but i didn't like the one line "The one who took her away from me" it's great imagery for losing a loved one, though i think having the mystery of not knowing what the poem is based on would have a better effect, but all in all a great poem, i'm just being picky
- 08/10/2004
- 05:44:10
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
don't come back to reality, your doing so well where you are now. i love this very surreal.
- 08/10/2004
- 05:39:17
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
i really liked the style of this poem, it's very full on like there are no breaks where the audience can relax, well done keep up the good work
- 08/10/2004
- 05:34:13
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
thank you for this, my 16 year old cousin is pregnant, this really confirms that she doesn't know what she's getting herself into
- 07/10/2004
- 03:54:42
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Hmm well good content, but a book report isn't specifically to re-tell the story but outline the themes and your general opinion of the book and the language used.But for 8th grade well done anyway, a good re-telling of the story.
- 04/10/2004
- 05:01:20
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Alright it's only at a year 10 level and for that level it is a fairly well written essay, though use of a thesaurus would have made it better. Also please i understand you are a dog lover, but they are not superior to all other animals, i may be bias as personally i love cats, but they can proove as good a companion as a dog and are capable of loving a human to the same degree.. and you will forever be deprived of this feeling because you will never appreciate a cat by cat standards only look down on it for not being a dog...i'm sorry but this is a subject i am very passionate about
- 04/10/2004
- 04:52:38
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Ok it's called a diary sweety they're not expencive, and trust me every teenage girl has to deal with this crap.. and this is a bloody mild case you have nothing to worry about.. it might seem like the world but it's really, really not. write your thoughts on a piece of paper not post them on an exam site. reading this would have no benefit to anyone.
- 04/10/2004
- 04:33:56
- Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
"Being an American means enjoying more security, freedom, and liberty than any other nation in the world" --Might i add, that Americans know less about what is happening in places other than America than anywhere else in the world due to the controlled media in America. You do not know that you enjoy more security, freedom, and liberty than any other nation in the world unless you have lived in every nation in the world.
- 01/10/2004
- 08:38:47
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
America kills (innocent) people in Iraq, it's war.Iraq kills people in America, It's terrorism.Have a think about that.good essay by the way, interesting point of view
- 01/10/2004
- 08:31:50
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
i liked it. Something i enjoyed reading, very emotional. a good expression of yourself.
- 01/10/2004
- 08:27:05
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
good concepts and i like your ideas and agree with them. take a look at spelling though, there are a few typos, most likely from typing quickly. But all in all a good essay
- 01/10/2004
- 08:24:07
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
i agree with you, and most of your points.. though i do not believe true love to be perfect, but it is getting through these imperfections that prooves that love is true.
- 01/10/2004
- 08:19:14
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
that was deep. i really like this poem and can relate to it on some levels. my dad is an alcoholic, and tells me not to waste my talant then asks me where our relationship went... i great poem well done
- 01/10/2004
- 08:11:44
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
i liked this very much and can relate to it.. i like the style and the content
- 29/09/2004
- 07:21:26
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
this really hit me.. it took me in completely. a very well written piece that really grabs you
- 29/09/2004
- 07:14:59
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
this is wonderful. really in depth, and i love your style of writing good work
- 29/09/2004
- 07:10:50
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
This is great.. i considered suicide once, and what stopped me is the pain i would cause the people around me, as you mentioned. very moving
- 29/09/2004
- 07:07:31
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
this was a really good piece.. it does in some ways resemble the song they're talking about but not enough to think it is based on the song.. great work, it really makes ya think
- 18/09/2004
- 07:58:15
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
i agree with Jiji, there are many points in this essay that i could argue, and i would quite like to, to get more of an insight into your interpretation of life. for a subject that is endless you have given good points and an interesting point of view. there is much i would like to say on this suject but i feel typing it out will not express my point of view as i would hope. great work
- 17/09/2004
- 07:55:43
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
This "essay" has good information in it but i wouldn't call it an essay. Each sentence is a new idea and it seems to me that it is all in dot point form. But the content is very good, you just need to work on the structure
- 29/07/2004
- 05:02:00
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
That was amazing. I normally don't really like this style of poem, but thi really got to me... i was close to tears. I have nothing against abortion but this really made me think. The visual aspects of the doctors ripping and tearing the "baby's" body apart were very gripping. great work
- 28/07/2004
- 07:44:22
- Score: 11 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
This was great! I really enjoyed reading it. You have captured alot of aspects of this drug. Just wondering if you have seen the movie Trainspotting? It's a great movie based on heroin addiction, just curious as to whether you got some inspiration from this movie.
- 28/07/2004
- 07:37:46
- Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
An interesting form of poem to get used to but once you read it a few times the message within the repetition. i really like this poem it is very different to anything i have ever read.
- 24/06/2004
- 08:55:50
- Score: 11 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
its great that you have something in your life that means so much to you and Rubi sounds like a very cute doll. just wondering what the purpose of the piece is.
- 24/06/2004
- 08:34:05
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
As spoon man said there are alot of errors in this piece, but it is these errors which have shown me how passionate you are on this subect. I'm not sure but after reading this i was under the impression you were in a bad mood perhaps after someone treating you as a stereotype. there is alot of anger in this piece and i completely agree with your point, people should not judge a book by it's cover, there is more to a person than their appearance or nationality
- 17/06/2004
- 07:51:49
- Score: 18 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
This piece has an interesting topic with good points. But the structure is poor. there are only about 2 sentences in this 278 word essay. I think writing structured sentences and perhaps short paragraphs would benefit this piece. Other than this the content of the piece was very good. well done :)
- 11/06/2004
- 08:48:45
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
A great essay the only floor i could find was the lack of paragraphs. Paragraphs are your friends they make essays alot easier to read and can also help in organising ideas.
- 11/06/2004
- 08:41:58
- Score: 14 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
A well written piece, though the language in it is fairly unformal. There are a few errors in structure but nothing major. One thing that bothered me was zero twelve hundred hours.... 01200 just thought you should know there's no such thing, 24 hour time you only have to say zero infront of one digit hours ie. up to zero nine hundred hours (0900) after then it's just ten hundred, eleven hundred, *twelve hundred* hours. etc.
- 11/06/2004
- 08:25:51
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Once again i love your work. Have you considered entering poetry competitions? I like the closure of your poems.
- 09/06/2004
- 05:30:10
- Score: 22 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
I loved the style and the content also impresed me. I really like your view on this, wow is all i can really say.
- 08/06/2004
- 07:21:08
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I thought this essay was great. Very informative and also very emotive. I wouldn't call myself a "cutter" but on occasion i will cut my self when i am stressed so i think your point about emotional pain as opposed to physical pain is very accurate.
- 05/06/2004
- 08:33:36
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I have been reading alot of your poems. This piece is very different and at first i thought it had no meaning. After reading the whole piece it makes me think. It's a really amazing point of view. I really enjoy your work
- 05/06/2004
- 08:22:30
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This is a wonderful peice of work. You have captured so much. I am left speechless. All i can say it... GREAT!!!!
- 05/06/2004
- 08:16:20
- Score: 23 out of 27 people found this comment useful.
I enjoyed reading this poem. It is very intense and really captures the audience. I also, while reading it could imagine it as being song lyrics. A very good piece.
- 05/06/2004
- 08:11:11
- Score: 13 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
The heading fight club sparked my interest, being a fan of the movie myself... but i must say the essay disapointed me. Your retelling of the story is inaccurate, i understand you may not want to ruin the ending for people who have not seen the movie, but there is alot of information about Fight club that you missed. Also "fight club" had extended out of the car park, into the basement, out of the basement and around the world, expanding from just fighting. You mention this as your proposal for 'Fight club 2' but it is in the origional movie. I think you should watch the movie a few more times
- 12/05/2004
- 08:05:02
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This essay is very brief and i think more could be included
- 04/05/2004
- 08:20:38
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
A generally good essay, but i think more information on the Maya culture would improve the piece
- 04/05/2004
- 08:02:32
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
I'm sorry but i can't understand what this essay actually is. I get the impression it is just a description of your ideal job, and i don't see how it has any use.
- 03/05/2004
- 05:46:12
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I enjoyed reading this piece. It is well written and although short it conveys meaning... but as an essay that can be used for a purpose i don't think it is suitable
- 17/04/2004
- 10:14:43
- Score: 15 out of 22 people found this comment useful.
this essay included some good information but it's not of a high standard. i believe that you havn't covered all aspects of HIV or AIDS.
- 18/02/2004
- 05:58:31
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I do agree that video games may or may not have a huge affect on a childs social and emotional behaviour. although the hours that children spend with their eyes glued to a TV screen as opposed to being physically active is affecting physical health and also their eye-sight. More and more children are getting glasses at a younger age i myself have recently got glasses due to too many hours on the computer, so i think it is not just a childs mind that video games are affecting but their physical health as well
- 18/02/2004
- 05:49:06
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.