You speak in very, very short, and more factual sentences than anything else. You should mix them up, having a few longer sentences and then keep short ones to add power to your meaning. Also a bit too factual, and not enough meaning behind the war.
- 18/07/2004
- 06:28:06
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Old Major is more a representation of Karl Marx than Lenin. Karl Marx died before the socialist revolution ever came to the world, and he more showed the way than anything else, much the way that Old Major did. As well as that, Annimalism is the equivalent of Socialism, not really Leninism.You didn\'t really show the fact that Snowball represents Leon Trotsky very well. Trotsky was a leader in the revolution with Stalin, as well as a leader of the Red Army. Snowball leads the fight at the Battle of the Cowshed, as Orwell\'s way of showing Snowball as being the army leader.Other than that, you have done a fairly good job in this essay.
- 15/06/2004
- 04:55:23
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Remember not to trust any single book/text as it stands. Orwell, as you should know, definately had his own bias against communism. Remember that communism is not always bad, and it is proven to work in many countries. Communism fails when people like Napolean/Stalin become greedy and corrupt. They can still do good things for the farm/country, but most likely will cause much suffering.Form your own opinion about communism, perhaps by reading other texts and analysing them as well. Do not trust the word of a single man, because as Stalin/Napolean proved, propaganda can be a very powerful, if still subtle tool.
- 04/05/2004
- 06:01:13
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Youve done an alright job, but you need to have some more structure to it. Concentrate on one topic for a bit, run with it and write a paragraph. Once this is done, move onto your next idea, and start a new paragraph. Try not to jump around so much. You use the sentence "Animal farm is set in England during the time of the Russian Revolution" like 3 times, and that usually isn't great.Remember that Orwell had his own bias about the topic. Do not jump to your own conclusions about communism just because of this single book. Keep in mind that you should form your own opinion from many different texts, each one with different bias'.
- 02/05/2004
- 03:30:36
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Another good example of Communism working. It is only the non thoughtful people in socialist nations that ruin it all for everyone.Good info about Sputnik.
- 02/05/2004
- 03:24:37
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Oswald didn't shoot Kennedy. I'm from Australia, and even i know that from over here. America has been fooled, and lost one of their greatest presidents.I dont know exactly what happened to president kennedy, and i doubt it if many do. But it is most likely that he was marked for assassination by a conspiracy between the CIA, the mafia, the weapons manufacturers and possibly the FBI.Watch the movie "JFK", which by no means is completely accurate, but it does show some very valid points. In the film that captured the killer bullet hitting kennedy in the head, it clearly shows his head going "back, and to the left", meaning that the bullet had to have come from the front right. The book shop that oswald supposedly shot the president from was behind him, and high up. Oswald could NOT have shot the fatal shot.Oswald himself had supposedly "defected" to the soviet union. He had gone there for a bit, and yet a few years later, supposedly after feeing info to the KGB, he returns to the US and they grant him entrance immediately. The CIA had plans for oswald. Moving to the USSR was just a cover to try to prove to the american people that he was a full on communist, and therefore had reason to shoot JFK.The mafia had reason not to life kennedy, and this gave the CIA the oppurtunity to get Jack Ruby to kill the only man who might possibly tell the truth about what happened to JFK: Lee Harvey Oswald.What happened on 22 November, 1963 was orchestrated by various parts of the American government. It was kept quiet, but that day, a nation killed its own president. After that day, the Vietnam war truly began. Kennedy was trying to pull US troops out, but Johnson stepped up the assualt.Remember Kennedy. Remember what he stood for, and how he died. Remember, all Americans, that what happened then could happen now. No man is safe. The Matrix has us all.
- 02/05/2004
- 02:45:41
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Very good about how communism came about in China. In this case, communism was the best way to avoid corruption, and for the work they did, the communists definately deserved getting control of China. Communism has worked in China effectively since 1949, and i am glad that they took power over Chiang Kai-Shek, kicking his corrupt ass to taiwan. Good writing.
- 01/05/2004
- 19:10:51
- Score: 6 out of 8 people found this comment useful.