very good ideas but your choice of diction gives the essay an informal sense. Use a thesaurus to find words to make your essay more academic rather than colloquial.
- 20/07/2005
- 17:43:58
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
You give a good analysis of Gould's work and points about creationism that are often overlooked
- 20/07/2005
- 17:40:15
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
very nice idea... got me thinkingnice flow throughout the essay
- 20/07/2005
- 17:36:28
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Very interesting. I always thought birth order had an effect on childrens behaviour.Could use a conclusion though.
- 10/07/2005
- 13:13:23
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
You don't really state a thesis. Your last sentence of your introduction should be elaborated a bit and split into 3 sentences, telling the reader what he/she should expect in the essay. The first sentence of your first body paragraph sounds like an okay thesis, and should have been put as the last sentence of your introduction.'Not only is he the King of Denmark, but he is also married to Queen Gertrude, his brother's former wife' he became king by marrying the queen; thereby robbing Hamlet (next in line) of the throne. The marriage and him becoming king are one in the same.You provide some good points in your essay but no quotes to prove them. For all the reader knows, you could be making up these points. No offence, but frankly I'm surprised you recieved such a high mark without the use of quotes.
- 08/07/2005
- 22:40:59
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
In your introduction you state that Hamlet and Laertes have recieved a 'twined' childhood, those are just your own assumptions, no where in the text does it say that.I love your thesis.You refer to Hamlet as a 'wise methodical individual'; I would not go as far as to say that. Hamlet by far not the wisest character in the play and is too plagued by (for lack of a better a word)procrastination to be wise. You do provide evidence to prove your point though, so you are in the right.Your conclusion is gold.Well done essay.
- 08/07/2005
- 22:29:11
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Your introduction is weak and lacks style. Although it does contain the elements of a good introduction with telling the reader what to expect in the essay, it does so blandly and is rather boring. You list the topics off instead of making your ideas flow.Your first example when Hamlet could have killed Claudius is wrong. Hamlet could not have killed Claudius right after the play-within-a-play because Claudius storms out (also there were many people there watching who think Claudius is innocent of Old Hamlets death). Claudius' reaction to the play-within-a-play confirms Hamlet's suspicions that Claudius is guilty and leads to your next example.No where in the text does it say that Hamlet has sex with his mother.You say that Hamlet 'tortures' Claudius throughout the play yet you provide no quotes for references to scenes to prove it. If you are refering to the odd word plays that Hamlet uses against Claudius, those are not torturing him.Hamlet rather tortures his mother with words (in Act 3 Scene 4 'daggers to mine ears').Your essay had some okay ideas, but theres room for improvement
- 08/07/2005
- 21:35:46
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
this was hilariousit made me think of that simpsons episode where he goes to lionel hutz with the business card that say 'operates on contengency / no money down' and then hutz writes on the card with a pen so the card says 'operates on contengency? / no, money down!' hahaha
- 08/07/2005
- 18:16:20
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I like itIt seems like in the following chapters he's gonna kill a couple of people
- 07/07/2005
- 04:05:50
- Score: 14 out of 22 people found this comment useful.
Good essay but lots of informal language used. Topic sentences for the paragraphs aren't as strong as they could be.
- 18/09/2004
- 17:06:51
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Content of the essay was sufficient, but the sentence structure could be better. At times the sentences are too short and abrupt and make halt the flow of the essay.Otherwise its good.
- 18/09/2004
- 17:01:17
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I submitted a report on bulimia in the bio section (its called "Report on Bulimia Nervosa")All this info is correct and well writtenTwo thumbs up
- 28/07/2004
- 22:42:37
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
this stuff is always on my test ;-)- only animal cells has centrioles- in cytokinesis plant cell has a cell plate form because cell wall can't splitbesides that, this note is pretty goodtwo thumbs up
- 28/07/2004
- 22:02:05
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
"People who do not have enough vitamin D get a disease called rickets"" If there is a shortage of calcium it leads to a diet called rickets."Is it a disease or a diet?
- 27/07/2004
- 22:09:56
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.