Overall it was good but if you want to create a stronger argument, research more and use sophisticated language in your essay.
- 24/03/2006
- 17:42:33
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
Your introduction really captures the reader and shows the markers that you've researched productions and it establishes the structure of your essay. Good work.
- 24/03/2006
- 17:40:30
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
This essay is a bit one sided don't you think? Yes, its a fact that China is not doing enough for parts of the population who live in absolute poverty, and I agree that spending so much government money on entertainment is totally inappropiate, but the whole "evil dictator" line really weakened your argument. To strengthen it, you could add more statistics and quotes and solid evidence.
- 18/02/2006
- 06:32:37
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I'm not sure about this, but are you actually allowed to use first person when analysising a text for the concept of journeys? I think it would be better if you chose a text that you knew the context behind it, and the composer.
- 18/02/2006
- 06:11:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Good analysis in the introduction but the essay is just too short.
- 20/01/2006
- 19:00:04
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very detailed and informative essay, clearly reflecting your indepth research into this area. Well done
- 20/01/2006
- 18:58:16
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I'm glad you cited your research and overall you wrote a great analysis of the police's role in dealing with domestic violence.
- 20/01/2006
- 18:52:44
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very detailed research and a wonderful essay, you could improve on the intro so that it grabs the audience's attention and interest:) Overall, Good Work!
- 01/12/2005
- 00:22:58
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Very well structured essay and an excellent analysis. The quotes used were appropiate and you gave a pretty good argument :) Excellent work~!
- 01/12/2005
- 00:17:26
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
A good essay overall, but you could improve your intro a bit to make it more interesting to read...
- 01/12/2005
- 00:14:32
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
A very detailed essay well done:D
- 18/09/2005
- 01:18:44
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
a little bit short, you could use more sophisticated language... Overall good effort and well done :)
- 18/09/2005
- 01:14:08
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very detailed analysis and thorough research...well done:D
- 06/09/2005
- 02:12:02
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
To improve this, you could add historian sources or comments and you could analyse the different factors of the causes of WWI like nationalism more carefully and in more depth by writing a paragraph on each. :D
- 06/09/2005
- 02:09:50
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
It's a very captivating story and I really really enjoy reading it! Now i just have to read part 5...
- 20/08/2005
- 03:36:13
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Very well structured but you could improve on the content. Very well done!
- 18/08/2005
- 06:34:08
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I was looking forward to read part 3 of the story and i'm glad you've done a good job of it! Great plot and characters! Can't wait for the fourth one!
- 09/08/2005
- 05:08:23
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Apart from the grammar, I thought this was a really informative essay. Great statistics and facts! Very well written :)
- 09/08/2005
- 05:00:16
- Score: 13 out of 14 people found this comment useful.
I think it needs a better introduction and conclusion. Also, were you allowed to use the words, "I", "we" in your essay?Overall, you showed a great analysis on the play and it was very enjoyable to read. Well done :)
- 09/08/2005
- 04:55:32
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
A little short...you could expand on it a bit. Overall, It was quite enjoyable to read, well done
- 09/08/2005
- 04:49:19
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I totally agree with your argument and you've presented a large range of research. I'm not sure about this but could you have added some quotes or statistics in? Also, I thought that since you have wonderfully set out your argument, more emphasis could have been put on the conclusion since that gives the reader a last impression. Overall, Good work! I really enjoyed reading it~!
- 02/08/2005
- 09:32:00
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I thought it was a very enjoyable essay to read but i thought u could improve by lengthening it a bit more and using better examples of prejudice. i thought that the example of your best friend was not a really strong source for your argument. overall, Good work :)
- 02/08/2005
- 09:23:32
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very very detailed analysis and understanding of the topic. 10/10!
- 28/07/2005
- 08:03:50
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
A very detailed essay on the whitlam dismissal with accurate facts. I thought that you could improve it by expanding on why this event was so controversial and how it has affected aust politics ever since... overall good work!! :)
- 28/07/2005
- 07:52:34
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Wow I thought this was a really good review and was just about to give u a fantastic comment when i found out that this was plagiarized! how disappointing...
- 27/07/2005
- 07:40:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I thought it was a little short but overall it was a very well written essay..Keep up the good work! :)
- 21/07/2005
- 07:40:14
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very sustained piece of writing and excellent content and analysis.
- 21/07/2005
- 07:35:14
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Your essay presents a really good balance of arguments for both public and private schools, I thought that you could improve it by writing a conclusion. Keep up the good work!
- 21/07/2005
- 07:02:17
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Your essay has been very enjoyable and interesting to read. Great Work and very detailed research... 10/10!!!!
- 21/07/2005
- 06:54:59
- Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
This is only a creative writing piece on the character of Hector from the movie Troy...it is not meant to be very accurate..only imaginative
- 21/07/2005
- 06:47:09
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very very interesting and capturing movie review to read. 10/10 !!
- 17/07/2005
- 01:43:55
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
It was a little short and i thought that you could perhaps expand on examples of how fear can be used as a weapon to gain ultimate power over others. Overall i thought it was a very interesting essay. Well done :)
- 17/07/2005
- 01:34:25
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
A little short but i thought u expressed your point well. good work
- 17/07/2005
- 01:28:54
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
you could have tried to capture the audience's attention more but overall you did a great job at describing the game. Have you considered to do advertising or be a games reviewer ??? hahhah :)
- 07/07/2005
- 02:43:28
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I really love your story!! I can't wait to see the ending! Great work!!!
- 07/07/2005
- 02:35:05
- Score: 13 out of 22 people found this comment useful.
It was good overall but i think you spent most of the essay writing about the origins of simpsons and about the story. I think you could improve it by adding more sources to support your argument and analyse the themes to support your case.Well done
- 07/07/2005
- 02:28:30
- Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
An excellent detailed essay on music and culture. keep up the good work! Well done:)
- 07/07/2005
- 02:15:30
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Your essay was really detailed and very interesting to read :) "Politics is war without bloodshed"~MaoThank you for writing such an enjoyable essay to read.
- 04/07/2005
- 21:05:21
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
You could extend your argument a bit and add sources backup your case. Overall it was a very interesting essay to read.:) Well done
- 29/06/2005
- 07:15:28
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
I totally agree with your point of view! Your introduction was excellent, your use of rhetoical questions really drew in the audience and captured their attention. i think you could improve you argument (as crunchie said) by giving stronger evidence to back up your case. You could maybe even add more sources in. Work on lengthening your essay and creating a much more powerful argument:):)
- 29/06/2005
- 07:07:35
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
You have presented a very thorough research and i'm glad that you included a bibliography to acknowledge your research material. The essay was very detailed and excellently structured. Well done
- 29/06/2005
- 06:54:41
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very detailed and interesting to read~!!
- 26/06/2005
- 01:45:22
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This was copied from the Time 100 article!!! And you are in 12 grade as well!!!! U should be ashamed of urself!
- 26/06/2005
- 01:40:39
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
maybe u could analyse more and do less storytelling. overall it was a good report. Well done
- 26/06/2005
- 00:43:15
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Overall it was a good essay. You could have improved it by analysing the themes more :D
- 26/06/2005
- 00:41:16
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
The essay was good overall, try not to do so much storytelling. You could improve this essay by analysing the themes and remember that the audience already knows the play.
- 21/06/2005
- 03:40:01
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
thanks for reminding us that we should think before we leave a permanent mark on our skin! Overall it was a good argument! Well done
- 02/06/2005
- 04:05:57
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
IT was a little too short and i didn't like the fact that you used 1st person in your conclusion. Anyways Good Work!
- 27/05/2005
- 18:38:56
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
you have presented a range of reasons for why we attend college or university. You could improve your introduction by making it more interesting to attract the reader's attention. Overall it was a good essay. :):)
- 26/05/2005
- 09:03:27
- Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
i really disagree to the view that abortion should be illegal because our government has always respected the individual's right to privacy and A woman's reproductive system should not be subject to government regulation. Also, Although unborn children harbor the potential to become human lives, they are not, at present, generally capable of surviving outside their mothers until the third trimester. Therefore it is not murder. If we considered it to be life from the start, then soon enough people will be calling menstruation murder and the use of contraceptives, murder. Many women in this country conceive and, for natural reasons, fail to carry the baby to term, but we do not regard these "natural abortions" as anywhere near as tragic as the death of an autonomous person. If the woman wants to have an abortion, it is their choice. If the unborn child had some incurable disease and was going to die at birth, wouldn't it be better to abort it, so that it lessens the pain and regret the mother would go through? The choice will be difficult for everyone who has to make it, but the choice they make will have to be based on their own values and circumstances, and their own principles. The universal truths of morality have little to say on the matter, and the law should have even less to say. It is no one else's business but theirs. Therefore, abortion should be legal and it should never be seen as murder. (This is only my point of view, and i'm really sorry if i offended anyone:D)
- 26/05/2005
- 03:58:01
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
you've got some great imagination there! Funny:):)
- 25/05/2005
- 06:08:53
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This was a very unique and wonderful piece of writing. You have shown me a whole new perspective on literature! Some of it was way beyond me...Thank you for such an enjoyable essay to read:):)
- 25/05/2005
- 05:52:05
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
i really disagree to this view because our government has always respected the individual's right to privacy. A woman's reproductive system should not be subject to government regulation. Also, Although unborn children harbor the potential to become human lives, they are not, at present, generally capable of surviving outside their mothers until the third trimester. Therefore it is not murder. Many women in this country conceive and, for natural reasons, fail to carry the baby to term, but we do not regard these "natural abortions" as anywhere near as tragic as the death of an autonomous person. If the woman wants to have an abortion, it is their choice. If the child had some incurable disease and was going to die at birth, wouldn't it be better to abort it, so that it lessens the pain and regret the mother would go through? The choice will be difficult for everyone who has to make it, but the choice they make will have to be based on their own values and circumstances, and their own principles. The universal truths of morality have little to say on the matter, and the law should have even less to say. It is no one else's business but theirs. (This is my point of view, i hope i didnt offend anyone)
- 24/05/2005
- 08:29:15
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
The rhetorical questions and the style of writing almost made me think that i was reading some advertisement in a magazine or newspaper! Overall, it was good:)
- 24/05/2005
- 08:09:26
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I agree with you that since teenagers are having sex, maybe it would be wise for schools to provide condom vending machines and promote safe sex. Overall you presented quite a strong arguement. Good Work! :)
- 22/05/2005
- 01:37:10
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Your essay was very interesting and informative:) I think it is really sad that people only stop smoking when they actually experience some form of health problem. Even with the ads on tv about the effects of smoking, people are still going to say "it won't happen to me" or "I know this old man that smokes and he hasn't died yet" I agree that graphics on the packets should be seriously considered. Thank you for writing such an enjoyable essay to read. Excellent:):)
- 19/05/2005
- 04:51:41
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
Being a person that knows nothing about Mao, your essay has really captured my curiosity and has been very informative. Maybe you could add some "wow" factor to your intro sentence? Other than that, it was very enjoyable to read. Good Work!! :)
- 18/05/2005
- 08:03:21
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Your essay was very informative and indepth. I liked the quote you started your essay with and your intro. I'm glad that you have stated all your sources! Good work!
- 18/05/2005
- 07:49:51
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I found it very indepth and very interesting to read. good work!
- 12/05/2005
- 06:30:41
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Your study notes are quite indepth, short, simple, easy to read and right to the point. It was very interesting to read:)
- 12/05/2005
- 06:11:13
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Maybe you could expand on it a little more? i thought that you might need to work on the introductions and the conclusion. Overall, it was a good essay, covering all the necessary points.:)
- 01/05/2005
- 08:04:39
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very well written analysis and very enjoyable to read. Good work!
- 26/03/2005
- 07:57:59
- Score: 24 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
It was a good essay overall... but i just think that maybe it is a bit too short?
- 16/03/2005
- 03:46:47
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
An excellent analysis of Briar rose and its link to poetry by Felix Skrzynecki. good work!!
- 11/03/2005
- 07:37:09
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
A very deep and meaningful essay! Love is something that is really difficult to explain, Good work!
- 08/03/2005
- 03:34:26
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
A very indepth study into the different economies. I find it very informative and well structured. very well written!i was wondering, could u review my essays too?
- 07/03/2005
- 03:47:01
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
this is just from the BOS website!
- 03/03/2005
- 07:07:24
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
it is very informative and well structuredplz..check out my essays too!
- 13/11/2004
- 00:48:21
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
it is quite short and i cant really read it because of the "&middot;<Tab/>" in the front of each line
- 30/10/2004
- 19:12:24
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
A very well written essay but could have a more interesting opening. lots of information, it is well organised and it flows well.
- 30/10/2004
- 18:39:33
- Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
the explaination was too short...it left out alot about true happiness and did not have a conclusion.
- 05/10/2004
- 02:36:29
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.