I was not sure of what education level this paper was for, but I'll lend a few comments generically.The essay needs more specific dates like when we moved from rolling logs to a wheel. 5000 years ago 10 years ago? 5000 years ago today.It also ends very abruptly. Perhaps your fielding ideas still, but if this was intended to hand in, it would probably fail at most any level.Your opening paragraph was strong, just expand on the facts it states for your other paragraphs.There are also gramatical errors such as the last paragraph "drawn by four are six"HTH--Rob
- 03/09/2002
- 06:32:19
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.