• Status: Normal
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• Essays Written: 3
• Essays Rated: 6
• Comments Written: 2
• Last Login: December 17, 2007

User Details For: Recondite

Essay List

• "People Only See What They Are Prepared to See": An analyzation of the quote by Hassan Ansari.

  • 734 words (3 pages)
  • 35
  • 0
  • 12345678910

• Qualities of a Good Ruler- Based on Niccolo Machiavelli's - "The Prince."

  • 1032 words (4 pages)
  • 99
  • 0
  • 12345678910

• The Lost Story of the Industrial Revolution (Narrative about the life of the common man during this time).

  • 780 words (3 pages)
  • 23
  • 0
  • 12345678910

Comments List

• Shows Effort.

  I am a Muslim and learned a few things myself. I like how the author went into details about each of the Five Pillars using more than just one paragraph in many cases. Though the word "I" almost always ruins an essay, snarfon6strings used it as if it was a speech to the reader.It is obvious the author is not very strong in English."the Muslim begins to gain strength and begins to feel good about themselves which helps them finish the celebration."In the above example, the word "begins" was good enough if only used once. Also, the infinitive form of the verb feel shouldn't have been used. Extra unnecessary words are always a down point. Now if you are using the word "begins", you can't use "themselves" as the verb refers to an individual and "themselves" refers to many people. You should have said "the Muslim gains strength and feels good about him or her self which helps finish the celebration."I found many other grammatical mistakes, but I will not hold it against the author too much. I like the effort put into the essay.
  • 12/09/2005
  • 16:51:33
  • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    

• Good ideas explained too briefly.

  The ideas of the essay are right to the point. However, you failed to give the reader enough background of the two religions. The essay is too short for a topic so broad. You should have focused on a single point and gone with it. I would expect something at least 10,000 words for such an important idea. You mentioned too many surface details making the essay somewhat confusing. You were also not clear if the essay was about Islamic threat to the west or western ignorance towards Islam. If it was both, you tried to combine two essays in one.I do like that you used sources other than yourself. You had the right ideas; just plan the structure more carefully next time. This is nowhere near college level writing.
  • 12/09/2005
  • 16:38:24
  • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.