User Details For: parental_advisory

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  • More evidence

    More evidence in the way of examples statistics would make this alot stronger.
    • 02/09/2007
    • 18:19:26
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Sources

    Be mindful only using Wikipedia. As a year 12 student I'm not allowed to hand work in with at least 3 others sources (other than wikipedia) due to the fact it can be edited by members. It isn't exactly reliable.
    • 02/09/2007
    • 18:15:03
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • More sources

    Your class text book is not enough to write a complete essay. Your teacher should have made you aware of this. Also you've got a slight numeric order in your 1st paragraph. Should read 1917 not 1971 unless u want to refer to ostopolic.
    • 02/09/2007
    • 18:11:44
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Top stuff

    Well done, you've done your research.
    • 02/09/2007
    • 18:04:53
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Introduction

    Try to be a bit more articulate with your wording, instead of coming out and just agreeing with the question, form a proper introduction thats hods the GNTT theory (general i.e topic in general (Hitler) a Nutshell i.e re ruled 1933 - 1945 with heavily criticized policies, Titles (not required unless using source/texts, Thesis i.e Hitler during his ruling was a success for the Hitler classed "German Citizen" (obviously a non-jew)
    • 02/09/2007
    • 17:45:19
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Sources

    Might I suggest looking at more sources than Wikipedia.
    • 02/09/2007
    • 17:40:37
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good read!

    Really quite interesting, I like that you gave context about the used it really helps capture the audience and believe what your saying, good job! Hope u got a great mark!
    • 01/09/2007
    • 23:45:35
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Introduction

    Your introduction needs a little work. It isn't a strong enough thesis. Ideally your intro should have a thesis that allows you to read the essay without knowing the question but be able to know what your setting out to prove before they get to your body paragraphs.
    • 01/09/2007
    • 21:32:52
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Ok

    Your essay is very opinionated and holds no real accuracy. In such a case your initial thesis should be worded in a manner to state that your looking at society's interpretation of communication.
    • 01/09/2007
    • 21:17:28
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • AMAZING!

    This essay is brilliant. Its form and language used is superb. Congrats on writing it!!
    • 05/11/2006
    • 00:25:32
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Really good read

    This is great. I'm currently doing a debate on this, and its really got my mind thinking... thanks for submitting this!
    • 08/03/2006
    • 08:52:33
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.