I enjoyed the topic of loss of innocence. I do wish that you would have gone more in depth. Very well written.
- 11/05/2006
- 09:54:48
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Very well written and researched.
- 04/05/2006
- 09:50:43
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Well Written, but a bit short for an 11th grade essay.
- 04/05/2006
- 09:45:08
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I enjoyed reading your essay. Very strong opinions and you support them with strong arguments. Being a Hispanic myself, I can't say I have much sympathy for your cause... whatever it may be, but you are a very talented writter.
- 10/01/2006
- 02:07:45
- Score: 10 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
I enjoyed how you presented both the advantages and disadvantages to raising multilingual children. I can relate to this, having been born in a spanish-speaking home in an english-speaking country.
- 09/01/2006
- 19:18:53
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
It would be to your benefit to avoid using words like "I" and "me" in an essay. The word "essay" means "I think" so it is obvious that what you write in your essay are your own opinions. Avoid references to yourself as the author and your essay will look more professional.Also, using phrases like "I beleive" take power away from your arguments.EXAMPLE : "Since I believe that a person could contribute much more greatly to society and culture more than a squirrel or a chipmunk than I believe that room should be made for the superior entity." --- Would be better written : "Since a person could contribute much more greatly to society and culture more than a squirrel or a chipmunk then that room should be made for the superior entity."There were a few minor errors in grammar.Good supporting arguments. I liked your concluding sentence.
- 08/01/2006
- 16:55:29
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.