Wording gets pretty awkward at spots. Some grammar errors. Weak, and poorly worded first and last sentances -- very important.Here's an example of how you should have wrote one of the sentances: "No matter how good a homosexual parent is in present day society, children should not have to be faced with such challenges if they can be avoided."I would have wrote: "In present day society, it does not matter how good a caregiver a homosexual parent is; if it can be avoided, children should not be faced with the challenges that come up as a result of being raised by homosexual parents."Overall decent ideas, but they do not come across as well as they could be if it was written better.
- 20/03/2006
- 20:44:17
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