Thats a good idea :P very original approach to cancer.
- 28/08/2008
- 02:57:25
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Good essay, most on this topic that I've read have been pretty crap too so good job.
- 12/08/2008
- 23:39:45
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Quite inspiring :D
- 26/10/2007
- 14:42:33
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Yeah maybe mention the formation of the plutocracy and how the common man had to fight against rich statesmen ( founding fathers) after the end of British rule. But good job.
- 26/10/2007
- 14:40:42
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Not bad I guess no conclusion?
- 25/10/2007
- 19:31:36
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
What a load of bs.""…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." American's have the right to do almost anything they want as long as it doesn't disturb their neighbor."A government has to make laws that benefit the majority. Something that makes a few people happy but screws up the environment is not conducive to a good country - weed is addictive. 1 joint has 100 times more chemicals than a cigarette and it is harmful. It is a mind altering substance and it causes a lot of crap as you know - like schizophrenia however u spell that.I don't want sum crazy pot head murdering me because he cant think straight. There are problems with weed and you know it. A little bit of delusional pleasure is not worth all the fuck ups it causes, its not a violation of rights thats just lame
- 25/10/2007
- 19:19:09
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
"After the Revolution the 13 colonies were created" The thirteen colonies already existed pre-revolution. The Revolutionary War enabled them to gain their independence from Britain and subsequently join together as one nation - Known today as the USAI don't know how you can write a whole essay on the causes of the American Revolution and not mention the 'intolerable acts'. They were arguably the most important cause of the Revolution and the subsequent Revolutionary War and you seemed to think of them as peripheral as you didn't even give them a mention."The other level on which the Revolution took place was the level of ideas. The colonists were rethinking the proper role of citizens, governments, and the relationship between the two."Yes, and what was the cause of this? The religious conversion from puritanism to revivalism that occurred during this time had a big part to play on certain 'ideas' and what the colonists believed in. Revivalism focused on the rights of the individual thus explaining the colonists strong beliefs in the maxims of freedom and liberty which was later reflected in the Declaration of Independence.No offence, but I wouldn't give this essay an A, especially for 11th grade. I am 11th grade and essays like this rarely do better than a C. I'm sure you could do a lot better than this, but in my opinion you just didn't put in any effortOhh and btw, your introduction is meant to cover what is in your essay. Nowhere did you mention in your body paragraphs about how the American Revolution caused the French and Spanish revolutions paragraphs
- 08/10/2007
- 22:43:57
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I didn't know why you needed to point out everything though. e.g you said where your conclusion was...when obviously it would be at the end :DBut other than that good job.
- 07/10/2007
- 20:39:28
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
That essay has a lot of information in it I found it quite interesting.
- 07/10/2007
- 20:22:13
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
"The crimes that were committed on the 11th of September were dreadful "Google: loose change 2nd editionIts a documentary arguing that Americans blew up the twin towers themselves. As absurd as it may seem it is quite convincing.Also, I agree with you about the president's just exploiting everyone to gain votes. The founding fathers didn't want this. If you watch the documentary 'zeitgeist' you will see how they are actually trying to take our liberties away- a direct violation of the morals embodied in the Declaration of Independence. Good job though I liked the Ideas in you essay although they could have been expanded on a bit more.
- 07/10/2007
- 20:16:01
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Great paragraphs. if I were you, I would have wrote in the conclusion about what we can learn from it and what the author's purpose is, and how it relates to our lives. That's what I get taught to do. But yeah, good job.
- 06/10/2007
- 19:15:54
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
A better conclusion would be nice :D
- 06/10/2007
- 19:12:14
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
That went into extra detail. I remember studying this topic. What you wrote taught me a lot more and it would be more beneficial to read your essay than to stay in class for a week if you ask me.
- 06/10/2007
- 17:17:20
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Very informative considering the amount of words used.
- 06/10/2007
- 16:41:06
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I liked the structure of this essay and how the quotes were weaved in. Well done.
- 06/10/2007
- 16:39:15
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I never knew San Fransisco was so expensive I found that very interesting.
- 06/10/2007
- 16:37:16
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Thank you for submitting this I found it very interesting.
- 06/10/2007
- 16:36:15
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Great essay, well done. I liked your ideas on how to fix the problem. It would be hard to write on a topic like this because most of it is theoretical and subjective. So you did well :D
- 05/10/2007
- 17:40:31
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I thought that it would be nice to elaborate on the social implications of same sex marriages. Also, calling it a 'marriage' may offend some religious people as many Christians believe in the sanctity of marriage so maybe discuss the religious implications as well. Not bad given the amount of words though. Well done.
- 04/10/2007
- 20:22:15
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Not bad. Would be nice to elaborate on the pro/anti arguments a bit more.Perhaps include the economic benefits ( if any) of executing a prisoner in contrast to life imprisonment.
- 04/10/2007
- 20:16:28
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.