This is an excellent essay, well written with detailed description and information. It is obviously well researched, and the paper is well set out.
- 24/09/2007
- 18:32:58
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This paper is well set out, with a lot of detailed information provided.
- 19/09/2007
- 15:36:31
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I assume from your comment that you originally came from China that English is not your first language.If this assumption is correct, I believe you have constructed an excellent paper. There is a little repetition throughout that could be cut to increase the flow of the essay, but other than that, I think this is a well constructed piece.
- 18/09/2007
- 07:48:06
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I think this essay has a solid basis, but could be improved to help the flow of the paper.There are several spelling and grammatical mistakes throughout, which, if fixed, would create a more convincing style.EG 'People confide in this diet because you are aloud to eat anything you want.'The word confide means to tell someone a secret, so it is used in the wrong context here.Also, the word aloud means to speak out loud - the correct word would be allowed.I do think that there are some solid points in the essay, and if it was tightened, I could see it being published by a magazine that targets women's health.
- 18/09/2007
- 07:33:24
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.