It does ask two things. And it does focus on an idea. Macbeth's ambition. And anyway I'm junior English student who really doesn't get Macbeth
- 01/11/2009
- 04:24:31
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Abrupt endings (and beginnings) are tricky. You want to end with a short jump and a sudden stop but in that short jump you also want the reader to feel satisfied that they know the end and have reached the resolution. From your story ending in that "short jump" you just have "his eyes were wide and unmoving...he put the knife down...pajamas". It feels like its incomplete and could be said to be a cliff hanger and lets the user decide ellis' fate. I failed creative writing because I like abrupt endings but i didn't inform enough in the short jump. although this story is very nice and I'm sorry I forgot to say that in my first comment.
- 03/10/2009
- 15:59:41
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Why does this change from Macbeth to you?
- 03/10/2009
- 15:50:10
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Firstly your introduction is just no. Do not mention idea/themes that you not talk about because it just makes the marker think you are stupid and it does not follow in a logical fashion. Why tell an idea that relates to topic but in the essay doesn't write a paragraph explaining it?Now for the rest:structure is off. Try doing for SEET.S = Statement. eg. "Macbeth is the cause for evil in the play"E = Explain the statement, what does it mean.E = Examples. Give quotes from book and such.T = Tell more. discuss the links between what the author is trying to achieve, his/her purpose, etc.
- 03/10/2009
- 15:24:41
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This has got some very nice themes but... Length, 9 pages i think is a bit too much but that also may be because of the double spacing. Too many quotes. Using quotes is necessary but using too little or too many is not good. If you use too many quotes then your essay will not have your ideas and that is what is most important. Using too many quotes proves that you have been reading your book but is doesn't prove that you understand it.
- 03/10/2009
- 15:11:42
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Very nice idea's and such but this somewhat lacks structure.Try structuring your paragraphs in a SEET type fashion.S = Statement.E = Explain your statementE = Give examples and quotes to prove this.T = Tell More. What is the authors purpose, How is this achieved, Impact on audience, and such things like that.
- 03/10/2009
- 15:05:06
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the format is hard to follow and really it is unfinished. "He slowly put the knife down, and walked calmly out of the room in his blood-stained pajamas." Its just not finished. Sorry.
- 01/10/2009
- 17:00:16
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This is a very good masters. Fully explained ideas. Nice work.
- 01/10/2009
- 16:18:44
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You make a compelling point and its about time that smoking gets banned from public places. I used to get a asthma attack the second I stepped into a restaurant. I love the quotes and bibliography. Keep this up.
- 13/10/2007
- 21:43:04
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I loved the comparison between the English and European aspects. Keep it up.
- 13/10/2007
- 18:29:39
- Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.