Good job using so many references, but where are the in-text references? Is in-text referencing not required at your school? Strong ending, but normally quotes are not allowed in the conclusion. Great job for HS level.
- 13/09/2009
- 05:31:05
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This essay shows characteristics of a high school student or first year college student, not someone pursuing a Masters degree!
- 21/06/2009
- 23:47:10
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Below, I think you meant misunderstanding."Quantitative research....can miss important aspects which could lead to a complete understanding of the whole phenomenon."Otherwise, great essay. Its in my favorites.
- 29/04/2009
- 21:29:04
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Your in-text referencing is great! But you do not have all of your references listed in the bibliography. For example, the Bureau of Statistics 2002 is not mentioned in your works cited list.Besides that, great essay!!
- 19/04/2009
- 08:38:51
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
If you numbered the six core concepts your essay would be more comprehensible.The six core concepts in Abnormal Psychology are: 1) The importance of... 2)The continuum between...Where are your in-text references???!You should know that APA style referencing does not allow http citations with out an author and date. For proper psychology referencing, go here: http://www.liu.edu/cwis/cwp/library/workshop/citapa.htm
- 15/04/2009
- 06:33:31
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
The subject should not be under creative writing - Politics maybe.The only flaws worthy of mentioning are your reference method. What reference style did you use? Harvard? MLA? It doesn't look like anything I have seen before. Where are your in-text citations?Despite the quality of your work, this submission would fail in my university for poor in-text referencing and bibliography.
- 14/04/2009
- 06:31:14
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Avoid first person writing.
- 08/04/2009
- 08:05:04
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Avoid first person "In my opinion"Avoid rhetorical questions "What is Justice?"Do you have any proof to back this statement up? "many people today, especially today's youth, have no sense of what freedom involves".Read a reference guide like APA or MLA to properly list references. Writing an HTTP is not referencing!
- 08/04/2009
- 07:33:29
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
ReferencesCooley, Charles Horton 1909 Social Organization, New York: Scribner's (pp. 20-22)Durkheim, Emile 1965 The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life, New York, First Published in 1912. (pp. 38-39)Henslin, James M. 2006 Essentials of Sociology: a Down-to-earth Approach (Seventh Edition). Boston, MA. (p. 367)Marx, Karl 1964 Contributions to the Critique of Heel's Philosophy of Right In Karl Marx: Early Writings, T.B. Bottomore, ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, First published in 1844. (p. 45)The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language 2006, Fourth Edition Copyright by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.Reckless, Walter C 1973. The Crime Problem, 5th ed. New York: Appleton.
- 07/04/2009
- 20:56:57
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Avoid writing in first person. What type of reference style is that? Ive never seen the book title in the in-text reference.
- 06/04/2009
- 06:42:52
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
one piece of advice: don't write in first person."In this essay I will explore"This essay will exploreGood job referencing!
- 02/04/2009
- 00:05:50
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Try using Microsoft Word to fix up grammatical and spelling errors. In Word 2007 go to the Office button at the top left corner, click 'word options', click 'proofing', and change the writing style to 'grammar and style'. This will help with your style, like avoiding the use contractions "isn't".
- 24/03/2009
- 06:49:29
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Besides the lack of references, well done by a 10th grader.I don't remember learning this stuff in high school.
- 23/03/2009
- 08:29:58
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
No in-text references. No Bibliography. Submitting work to a university without the mention of sources is an act of plagiarism.The conclusion should summarize the entire essay by answering the original question, "what is functionalism". This essay failed to do that. Functionalism examines much more than crime. Either change the title or change the conclusion.
- 23/03/2009
- 08:22:57
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
No in-text references. No bibliography. Not enough information. Passive voice. Fragment sentence. NOT university quality.Functionalism examines the dysfunctions as well as the functions of society. NOT as you say, "functionalism focuses on what is good for the whole of society."Yes, "Functionalism adopts a macrosociological approach" BUT Neo-Functionalism examines both macro and micro analysis. You should make that clear in your essay.
- 23/03/2009
- 08:09:26
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Most universities use the Harvard referencing system for Politics and International Relations. You NEED to use in-text referencing as an undergraduate.Consider adding a closing summary.I caught a run-on sentence - consider this revision:...lagging integration is a sign of certain policy deficiencies; moreover, integration of economy...
- 22/03/2009
- 06:26:01
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Very comprehensive examination of the effects globalization has on society! I read most of it and the only thing I can point out for improvement is the use of first person in the conclusion. You did a great job substantiating each major point with a reference! A+ paper!
- 22/03/2009
- 06:10:31
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Where are all of your in-text referencing? When you "quote" someone you need the page number you found it in.
- 22/03/2009
- 04:25:09
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
"America had often tried to gain advantages from Australia and boasted its achievements whilst belittling those of Australia."Ive never heard the U.S. government make comments like that. Why would the U.S. belittle Australia when the two countries have fought side by side in several recent wars. Where is your reference to back up your accusation against the U.S.?
- 21/03/2009
- 10:26:26
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Well argued points. Upward social mobility of minority groups has progressively increased in every war. This is evident with Obama's election and the War on Terror.
- 20/03/2009
- 22:19:50
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Where did you find the definition for equality? What dictionary? No referencing! Not acceptable in a university. I remember reading from the sociologist James M. Henslin (2006) that the U.S. is like a salad bowl opposed to a melting pot. Don't take ideas without referencing!
- 19/03/2009
- 23:23:06
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
"I chose the article about how to discipline your child". The article is never mentioned!
- 19/03/2009
- 23:18:11
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Several times quoted and summarized Freud with out referencing. If I did that in my university, I would be penalized for plagiarism.
- 19/03/2009
- 23:14:21
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
No sources. No references. It would not be accepted in a university. Great structure and layout. Good depth.
- 19/03/2009
- 23:05:42
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Basic explanation of a sociologist - Well done for an 11th grader. The wages are off though. Sociologists with a B.A. make closer to $50k and a Master or PHD make 70k+.
- 19/03/2009
- 00:53:47
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
During submission some of the references conjoined-------------------------ReferencesBaer, Hans A. 2001. Biomedicine and Alternative Healing Systems in America: Issues of Class, Race, Ethnicity, & Gender. The University of Wisconsin Press, Madison, WI.Bates, Maryann S., Edwards, Thomas W. 1998 Ethnic Variations in the Chronic Pain Experience in Understanding and Applying Medical Anthropology, Mayfield Publishing Company, California, USA. (P. 267, 275)Brown, P.J. 1998, Understanding and Applying Medical Anthropology, Mayfield Publishing Company, California, USA. P. 259Budrys, Grace 2003, Unequal Health: How Inequality Contributes to Health or Illness. Rowman and Littlefield. Lanham, MDCockerham, William C. 2007, Social Causes of Health and Disease. Polity Press. UR, UK and MA. USA.:Cohen, Patricia, 15 May 2004 "Forget Lonely. Life is Hard at the Top." New York Times, NY.Curtis, Sarah; Taket, Ann 1996, Heath & Societies: Changing Perspectives. Arnold. LondonFabrega, H., Jr. 1989. Cultural relativism and psychiatric illness. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease 177: 415-424.Hardwood, Alan 1981, Ethnicity and Medical Care. Harvard University Press. Cambridge, Massachusetts and London, England.Henslin, James M. 2006, Essentials of Sociology: a Down-to-earth Approach, 7th edn. Boston, MA.Harrell JP; Hall S.; Taliaferro J. 2003. American Journal of public Health. Physiological responses to racism and discrimination: an assessment of the evidence. 93 (2): 243–8.HHS Data Council Working Group on Racial and Ethnic Data and The Data Work Group of the HHS Initiative to Eliminate Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Health, 1999, Improving the Collection and Use of Racial and Ethnic Data in HHS. United States (p. 14)James, Cara; Thomas, Megan; Lillie-Blanton; Marsha 2007, Key Facts: Race, Ethnicity & Medical Care, The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, United StatesJones, K. 2003. 'Culture, society, family: influences and inequalities', Health and human behaviours, Oxford University Press, AustraliaLeininger, M 2002. 'Culture care assessments for congruent competency practices' Transcultural nursing: concepts, theories, research and practices, 3rd edn, McGraw Hill, New York. (pp 117-143) cited in Indigenous and Cross cultural Health Care: study guide 2002 Central Queensland University, Rockhampton, QLDMaher, P., 1999, A Review of 'traditional' Aboriginal health beliefs. Australian journal of Rural Health (p. 299)Matsumoto, David; Juang, Lind 2008, Culture & Psychology, 4th edn. Thomson Wadsworth, Belmont, CA (p. 133)National Center for Health Statistics 2003. Death Rate due to Heart Disease by Race/Ethnicity, U.S.A, in James, Cara 2007 Key Facts Race, Ethnicity & Medical Care, U.S.ANavarro, Vicente 1986, Work, ideology, and science: the case of medicine. Cited in crisis health and medicine: a social critique. New York: Tavistock (p. 143)Parsons, Talcott 1975, Some Theoretical Considerations on the Nature and Trends of Change of Ethnicity. In Ethnicity: Theory and Experience, ed. Harvard University Press. Nathan Glazer and Daniel P. Moynihan. Cambridge, Mass.Potter & Perry (eds) 2005, 'Culture and ethnicity: the context of nursing in Australia and New Zealand', Potter and Perry's fundamentals of nursing, 2nd edn, Elsevier Australia, Marrickville, NSW.Rathus, Spencer A. 2007, Psychology: Concepts & Connections, 8th edn, Thomas Learning, Inc, Belmont, CAU.S. Census Bureau, Population Division 2005, Annual Estimates of the Population by Sex, Race and Hispanic or Latino Origin for the United States: April 1, 2000 to July 1, 2005 (NC-EST2005-03) United States.Trudgen, R. & Mala, D 2000, "Thirteen years of wanted to know, Djambatj Mala: why warriors lie down and die, Abroiginal Resources and Development Services Inc., DarwinWilkinson, Richard. 1996, Unhealthy Societies: The Afflictions of Inequality. Routledge, London
- 17/03/2009
- 01:32:14
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Debates induce us to comprehend several perspectives. This essay supports and argues three completely different views. Well done. Undoubtedly, people will benefit from reading this. I would have, however, liked to see more referencing. Strong points are substantiated by citing the author. But in a debate ample referencing is not expected.
- 17/03/2009
- 01:24:26
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
"Religion, politics, and the law (are) core elements of social structure that share an essential and complex relationship."
- 17/03/2009
- 01:09:55
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.