User Details For: Nelli625x

Essay List
Comments List
  • Good job..

    This essay was good..You had alot of good points and argued it well. One thing I noticed was alot of unneccessar commas. Check our grammar, but overall the essay was good.
    • 03/06/2003
    • 20:05:42
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Ha!

    good job!! I loved this speech..You are so right-just be yourself and dont care what others think of you or your attitude..
    • 01/06/2003
    • 21:42:07
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Good..

    This paper was good. But it seemed more of a biography of Eminem than his influence on children..
    • 21/05/2003
    • 01:24:41
    • Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Excellent!

    Great paper!! It was full of useful info and you have a references which is an added plus! Organized, clear, informative, credible...good job!!
    • 21/05/2003
    • 01:19:55
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Needs some work

    This was an okay persuasive essay. But your ideas need to be developed more. You made very good points but next time I would suggest you add in what someone might debate you about. For example, you say its distracting for students when a cell phone rings..okay but what if the phone is on vibrate? What would you say? Points like these also need to be addressed in persuasive essays. You need to cover all points of a topic.
    • 23/04/2003
    • 19:12:30
    • Score: 12 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Ehhh...

    This paper was okay. Your opening sentence was excellent, something to grab the readers attention. What this paper lacks is sources and a strong thesis. And omit the use of "I" statements..Overall the paper was good, but just expand more on the points you made.
    • 23/04/2003
    • 18:50:01
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good job

    This paper is clear, organized and includes sources which is a major plus-just remember that when you cite sources, they should be in alphabetical order. Good job!
    • 16/04/2003
    • 12:16:56
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Okay paper

    this paper was okay..to make it better check your word-usage and grammar. I noticed some mistakes, such as "destroys the use of cell phones." The word "destroys" does not fit into the sentence. A much better word would be "eliminate". Also, when writing a persuasive paper, be prepared to have others debate you on your topic. While writing about eliminating cell-phone use, one might question why you just wrote about cell-phone use and not cigarette smoking as well. There are many distractions for drivers -smokers, those who fiddle with the radio, ect. You should point out all of them, all the while concentrating on cell phone usage.
    • 09/04/2003
    • 22:26:27
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Good paper..

    this was a good paper. To make it better, I'd add the harmful effects of ephedrine on people, such as liver failure ect. Adding this would not only make it a more informative paper, but it would also make it usable as a persuasive essay-to convince people not to take these harmful diet pills. And check your punctionation and grammar.Good job!
    • 08/04/2003
    • 23:56:29
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Could be better

    This essay is too wordy and is not clear or organized. It seems like it was written a night before it was due..But it could be helpful for someone who needs to write a paper dealing with this topic.
    • 07/04/2003
    • 16:04:30
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.