A little bit choppy with some informal word usage. Generally, cohesive and has central thesis.
- 04/05/2003
- 23:14:20
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
A nice tone to the essay with an emotional charge. The movie quote at the end should be explained. Some minor informalities in language use.
- 04/05/2003
- 22:55:47
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Lacking a introduction and conclusion but the points were nice and succinctly organized.
- 04/05/2003
- 22:51:50
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
However, the positive influence that he reared was not introduced until late in the essay.
- 04/05/2003
- 22:49:18
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
The intro was thoughtful and well written.The formatting makes it difficult to read. Quite informative.
- 04/05/2003
- 22:44:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Some important issues are addressed here, such as Ralph's motives, but the thesis of the essay was not clearly followed through. In general, a nice "jump board" to spring from.
- 04/05/2003
- 22:36:32
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Nicely organized, synchronizing Telelmachus' journey with his own analysis. Slight problem with wordiness. Could have gone into more detail, perhaps include the change of attitude of others towards him through his growth and how that aspect affects the reader's feelings towards him.
- 04/05/2003
- 18:25:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Some informalities in the language that may not be appropriate for a formal essay. Thesis can be more clearly defined. However, this essay does have an emotional "punch" that shows the author's sincerity. Important points have been convered: Japanese indoctrination of war mentality, Chinese reactions to the issue.
- 04/05/2003
- 18:17:05
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Kudos to the author! The introduction is quite interesting and helps orient the reader to the topic. Vital information about black holes have been included and are clearly explained.
- 04/05/2003
- 18:10:36
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Generally speaking, a good essay. I would say that it is a valuable asset to the site. Some minor problems (i.e. no conlcusion, weak introduction) but can serve as a good reference point or jumping point for someone trying to get some inspiration!
- 04/05/2003
- 17:47:08
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.