User Details For: linlin77

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  • Good, but with spelling errors

    Overall, this essay is well writen but it has some major spelling mistakes. The tiny mistakes will add up and may confuse the reader what you are saying.Some errors I found are:Hypnopaedic, not hipnopaedic.Bokanovsky, not Bokovsky.Better off saying "shut off/down individualism", than saying "shut up individualism"
    • 10/01/2005
    • 23:07:25
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • OK

    Somehow, you are just randomly listing things. You need to add more things to this essay in order to make it interesting. For example, give a story of you or someone you know, and describe how you or that person is related to this topic. Your opinions are weak and very straight-forward. But gramatically speaking, very good!Thanks
    • 25/11/2004
    • 17:01:22
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Needs revisions (a lot of them...)

    This is not an essay, first of all. It is just a plain, dull, and pointless paragraph. I have no idea what kind of things you want to say here - what did you want to tell your readers?You'll need a lot more than that to achieve a 80% mark.Thanks
    • 25/11/2004
    • 16:57:40
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Awesome!!!

    A well-organized and well-written essay! You must have put some decent time into it in order to make this essay so effient and interesting.However, I think the conclusion needs some revision. It is as if you are against the Mexican race and sounds kind of weird. Especially when you wrote "carry a big stick" - somewhat violent?!Otherwise, great job!
    • 24/11/2004
    • 09:29:15
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Not bad

    not bad for a 10th grade student... but still the essay contains many many puntuation errors, some should be capitalized and you need help on your grammar!! but overall, this essay is well-done!
    • 29/07/2003
    • 16:41:48
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • WELL DONE!!~ hehe

    The quality of this essay is absolutelywonderful, you have a variety of vocabsand your style is very impressive!!!!this is your level of being in eleventhgrade!!! very well done!!
    • 28/07/2003
    • 21:27:36
    • Score: 13 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • Excellent!!

    This essay cuts directly to the point. Better sentence structure that leads onto more things. talk about you points a little more. VERY WELL DONE!!
    • 28/07/2003
    • 19:26:42
    • Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Very well done!!!

    this essay is overall a good essay. personal opinions should not be added, good introduction and conclusion. The body needs more work. This is a hard argument to argue about, but you have managed to put it altogether quite nicely!! well done!!!
    • 28/07/2003
    • 19:13:45
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Very very GOOD!!

    a very well-done essay!! good introduction, and conclusion. Minor errors in the details!! It is "operation overlord" instead of "operation overload", be careful about that one!!~
    • 28/07/2003
    • 18:17:54
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Good

    a very very well-done essay with few minor errors!! be careful with grammar and avoid using many repeated sentences. a good introduction, but the conclusion is not very good!! remember to reinform the introduction to the conclusion~! WELL DONE!
    • 28/07/2003
    • 18:16:15
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice!!

    Very well done! well-organized and good use of transactions and grammar!!!
    • 28/07/2003
    • 18:13:02
    • Score: 28 out of 32 people found this comment useful.