User Details For: Curzon49

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  • Influence of TV

    I think you have chosen a very important subject matter, but I don't believe you've developed your argument as well as you could have. For instance, you spend a good deal of time talking about radio, but you don't bring it back to your central thesis which seems to be that television is bad for children. Since your essay is relatively short, I suggest you focus it much more clearly - speak of just one medium, which is television, and explain to us why, exactly, it is bad for children (assuming this is the thesis). You ask us to imagine, for instance, what would happen if a child gets his view of the world watching Melrose Place, but don't back it up with a fact showing that programs like these do indeed have a bad influence on kids. So some more facts would help the argument. Spend more time building the primary argument and less time on secondary thoughts such as radio. Good start though.
    • 19/03/2002
    • 11:54:54
    • Score: 15 out of 16 people found this comment useful.