If you are a native english speaker then I must advise you to PROOFREAD your paper. However, if you are a foreigner then well done! As of this moment, your english makes me feel uncertain as to how I should judge your paper. a smiley if you are not a native english speaker and a sad face if u are.
- 01/06/2005
- 17:54:37
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
It is hard to find the right words to make a poem and rhyme and then have the words tie into ur theme. Nice job and good effort
- 04/04/2004
- 10:47:14
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
WHOA! JACKSON WAS NOT THE FIRST PRES. W/O AN EDUCATION.WHT ABOUT GEORGE WASHINGTON?
- 14/03/2004
- 12:20:30
- Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I would give your essay a c+ or B--you mention the reasons as to why the US did not want the Soviets to enter the war after talking about the bombs being dropped. You should go in chronological order.-Henry L. Stimson ... It is very nice that you mention Stimson, a very important person in the situation, however, you need to mention who Stimson is and why his opinion matters.-Also, to make your essay interesting you could have cited reasons for opposition then written evidence agianst that opposition
- 07/03/2004
- 15:08:11
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
-an effective yet cliche intro. It does need a touch up tho.. try searching for ways to write your intro... Try a quote instead.-uneven distribution of income ... we have that today also, specify as to why it is vital. We dependent on the amount of money the rich spent.-there was a postwar recession 1920-21 JTLUK-whoa! i thought ur essay was about cause and effect. You just run into how the seasons affect what ppl eat. How about going more in depth about the causes? You say that ppl didnt notice the signs... what signs? be specific. You could mention the Florida land boom etc.-what caused the dust bowl? you should mention the dry farming techniques, mechanization etc.-FDR's "New Deal" became what started the nation's turn around.That sentence sounds funny. Also, the new deal prolonged the depression and made things worse since it focused more on relief.
- 06/03/2004
- 22:45:13
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Overall, good summmary... or essay.... i am not sure.A few comments...The feminists of the time didn't like that, because they thought that women's place was in the home, that work outside the home was men's domain.Feminists refers to the females who believed the socio,econ and political equality of women. Thus, I think you should say women or females instead of feministsOwners believed that a subsistence wage preventedI think(my opinion)that owners CLAIMED to believe that long WORK HOURS would keep workers from using leisure time to do "evil."
- 06/03/2004
- 22:30:38
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
I like how your essay gives a nice overview of the period. I would have liked more details. I.e. what type of strikes? how were they put down? You say that the industrial rev. was from the 1800\'s to present day and that it was called the gilded age. Please keep in mind that this current time perioud is not referred to as the gilded age and yes there was progress from the 19th century until now however, that whole entire period is not the industrial revolution.
- 06/03/2004
- 22:22:47
- Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
Your essay lacks supports in vital spots. For instance, how do we know that Daisy is truly in love with Gatsby. This is a common misconception since daisy did love Gatsby in the past, but now she is using him. notice how nick says that the rich ppl are careless. She is careless with Gatsby and his feelings. Examine the argument(When gatsby if urging Daisy to say she never loved nick) it is important to notice that she has to be urged to say she never loved tom and that she is relucatant to even say so. Also, her strongest vocal point is when she calls tom revolting and refers to one of his sprees. It is obvious that she is using Gastby as a spree to get revenge on Tom. Also, how does Tom demonstrate more stability than Gatsby? Try to avoid such generalizations in your essay. When daisy meets gatsby again she could easily leave tom since gastby can also give her financial stability so why doesnt she do so willingly?
- 06/03/2004
- 22:16:23
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I really like how your essay is written however, it has several false generalizations. For instance you wrote, There is both a joy and sadness in a love as great as theirs.Well, It certainly is understandable how at some point their love could be seen as great. But, as time passes we see that Daisy does not truly love Gatsby that he was merely a plaything for her. Note how Nick refers to the rich ppl as not caring for others and that when they wreck things they just go into hiding (something along that line). It is important to keep that in mind because Daisy does not care that she might hurt Gatsby's feelings she just wants revenge on Tom for all his "sprees." Pay close attention to the argument when Gatsby pratically forced Daisy to say that she never loved Tom. If you look closely you will notice her hesitation to leave with Gatsby and the resentment she refers to Tom and his revolting sprees. Daisy may have loved Gatsby at one time but if she truly love him she would leave Tom since she has nothing to hold her back(the social status would not matter to you if you loved that other person).
- 01/03/2004
- 12:41:15
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
I like your last paragraph and conclusion however, I do think that your paper floats from one point to another without a solid support. Actually, he does mention the \"disturbance\" of the indians several times through out the article. He specifically mentions that the indians caused a political concern and that American society had to meet the Indian question. Also, when you are writing a paper for history it is good to use past tense since all the actions have happened in the past. I noticed parts in ur paper where it was present tense instead.
- 01/02/2004
- 09:10:56
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Wow! that is all I can say Hoba. I did not know things were so bad in New Zealand. It sounds like its about to turn into another Colombia. You brought up a lot of info i doubt that many ppl knew about. I always though Japan had the highest suicide rate. you ask a question in your article that you probably already know the answer to. Why do immigrants leave their country? well lets take third world Colombia as an example. There are ppl who should be enginners/laywers/doctors etc but instead are forced to drive a cab due to the lack of work. It would be nice to know about the immigrant statistics in New Zealand so you can have a basis for your claim. I really enjoyed your essay. It got a little too biased towards the end but i still liked it. esp. the intro
- 11/12/2003
- 20:04:31
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
excellent essay! great job! I love how thorough your explanations are.I would give it a 88%
- 10/12/2003
- 18:40:58
- Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I really liked how you backed up your initial statement. I think you did a good job of tackling such a difficult topic.
- 09/12/2003
- 17:07:08
- Score: 13 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
I think you should examine the part that says Socrates was a Sophist(sophists were looked down upon for constantly twisting around ppls words. it was claimed that one sophist could convince a man that his mom was a dog). I read in a biography that he actually did not consider himself a sophist since a sophist was someone who argued about expecting a certain answer while socrates merely questioned ppl. Also it was a sophist who wrote a humorous satire based on Socrates that portrayed him as a sophist and a Monothesist. This later on helped in 400 B.C. in trial where he is charged for corrupting the youth and interfering with the religion of the city.
- 07/12/2003
- 14:19:53
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
If you do not undertand any of the abbreviations that I have written please tell me. If you do not understand a topic please email and I would be happy to explain to you. If you would like to take practice testes or receive further information please go to this website...http://college.hmco.com/history/us/kennedy/am_pageant/12e/students/ace/index.html
- 23/11/2003
- 18:33:14
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I was really sick when i wrote this paper so if it doesnt make sense im not surprised... i incorporated some of the ideas from the other 2 DBQ's on this site however 98% of the info is from me. the other 2% i got from the other 2 DBQ's
- 28/10/2003
- 17:30:07
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
you want to refrain from utilizing "I" in your paper
- 28/10/2003
- 09:07:08
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
your body paragraphs should go in the same order as your thesis states it to be.
- 28/10/2003
- 08:52:24
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
If you were in an AP class i must advise to write Ap quality work or else you will not get an ATo achieve AP quality work you must address the specifics.WDYM What Do You MeanWrite as if your reader is Joe Schmoe I.Q. 1. This means write as if your reader understands nothing! good luck with your next essays. oh yea! your intro+ conc. are very weak
- 28/10/2003
- 08:46:01
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
hey were you in an Ap class when you wrote this essay?
- 28/10/2003
- 08:24:39
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
you have ok information but you pay attention as to how you write i.eJohn Ross, was totally against the white peopleIts as if I were saying you are so totally wrong! totally! It sounds... strange. the word totally is not needed
- 26/10/2003
- 10:21:53
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
just curious. are u in AP/honors or a regular classYou should be a little bit more specific in your notes. what grade did u get on ur final exam12. Jacksonian Democracy- The central political philosophy of Andrew Jackson.mention his philosophy. is he pro states or unionis there any prob. w/him and the constitutionhow does he utilize the veto
- 26/10/2003
- 09:54:13
- Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I dont think its the best written paper however it does have some interesting facts. I think you need to focus on not making repetition mistakesgood use of words ie emaciation
- 26/10/2003
- 09:32:27
- Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
I think you wrote an excellent diary.Pay more attention as to how you write. make sure to start and end with how ppl from those times spoke
- 24/10/2003
- 15:56:43
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
its well written however its not very interesting. A person tends to get sleepy while reading it.
- 18/10/2003
- 05:54:37
- Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.