Living Atop Imperfection : A Philosophical Reflection on the Absurdity of Life

Essay by esotericlsdCollege, UndergraduateB-, December 2006

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I did not intend to like it but, the first time I took a crack at video production; I knew I wanted to be a filmmaker. I have always been fascinated by many things, but my enthrallment for filmmaking is the most overwhelming. Since then, I have done quite a number of activities to equip myself with necessary and beneficial skills for film production. It is from that interest that I read more books, decided to have a journal to enhance my imagination and critical thinking, and joined a film making workshop where I learned video and audio production and post production. Every night, I think about it. I believe that I can make it. A filmmaker is what I will be because with it, dreaming never stops. Its end product is a go signal to dream again. When you finish a film, it means that you have to go and dream a different dream to produce a new film.

Personally, success in film making is not about putting the spotlight on oneself. Nor is it the fortune that comes along with it. It is, on its apparent side, imparting to other people my point of view on certain issues. But looking beyond what I am conscious of, it is about me being happy and satisfied. But then again, I know I will want fame and fortune to come along with it. It's not because I really want it to, but because I find it necessary. How can I continue producing films if I don't have funding for it? I may get it from outside resources, but that would mean that I have to be known as a good director. Unfortunately, fame is the most convenient evidence to prove one's ranking. The question now is "would filmmaking be enough to fuel my satisfaction and happiness and lead towards absolute fulfillment?" I cannot perfectly tell. But as how I see things on my perspective, not one can ever reach absolute fulfillment.

Life has never been and never will be perfect - so as human beings. On one side, imperfection hurts because it is the barrier that hinders us to have everything we want. On the other side, if human beings are perfect, this would mean that we do not have to eat, exercise, study, and do other activities leading towards positive progress. The only way to get across imperfection is to accept the nature of man and life. This is, for the moment, my disposition in life. It makes me appreciate and enjoy life and everything there is to it. It makes me feel free. Living atop imperfection is not trying to be perfect but living through all the imperfections of life. It is not always a sun-shining day . . . but oh well, that's life!