When I watch the rain falling from my window, every thing looks different. Nothing seems complete anymore. Ever since Dad left a few weeks ago, things haven't been the same. Now, Mom is always drinking, yelling and throwing things. Home just isn't a place I want to be anymore.
I can't help but think that I am the reason why my Dad left. That I'm the reason my home is a broken one. Maybe I asked for things too much. Didn't listen enough, maybe I was disobedient. I blame myself.
It's my own fault Mom is acting this way. Bring home different men every night. It's hard to go to sleep at night, because there's always noise coming from her room. It isn't easy for me to see her constantly drunk and in a rage. She hasn't been taking things easy. Every since Dad left, she's been a mess. She's barely even my Mother anymore.
Maybe if I had done things differently, things would have been better. Dad would have stuck around, and Mom wouldn't be like this. This is so frustrating! It's hard for me too. I don't have a Dad anymore. Yeah. I don't have a Dad anymore. He's gone. Out of my life completely, for good. And Mom... Well I can forget about bringing any friends home.
It's time I faced it. My life is in shambles, and it seems to be completely irreparable. There's nothing I can do to fix it anymore. I have to stand by and watch my Mother make a mockery of herself. Me, I get to do this, fatherless.
Suddenly, the thought comes to mind that there's no way I can live my life like this. I can't hide in embarrassment of my Mother's actions. I can't go through my life being...