Throughout time, parents and children have interacted everyday about many of life's tough problems; they have shouted, cried, and laughed with each other, and hopefully more of the latter. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is a parent's how-to guide about their own children. These insightful women and mothers have given rational and logical ways of dealing with children and their temperaments through various methods. Structured into seven simple chapters, the authors use a variety of diagrams and scenarios to reinforce the message taught in each portion. They provide sections to reflect on the lesson, and chances to subtly use the methods in daily life. This book teaches parents how to get their tight-lipped children to talk about their feelings and how to stop quarreling with youngsters due to foolish predicaments.
It is not always easy getting young children to deal with their feelings; the first chapter of the book deals with this subject.
The authors suggest using one of these methods in order to deal with children's problems:
1.Listening quietly and attentively
This is an effective method because it gives the child a chance to talk about his/her problem without the parent giving an instant solution and it gives the child a chance to reason out why he/she feels the way he/she does.
2.Acknowledge feelings with a word, e.g. "Oh....Mmm...I see"
This helps the child know that you are listening to his/her problem and that he/she is not being considered as a second priority for you (the parent.)
3.Give the feeling a name
Most children do not even understand what feelings are at the moment they occur, so if the parent gives the feeling a name, that feeling becomes...