A bit repetitive and the conclusion was pretty abrupt, but otherwise a good effort. Haven\'t read the story you are referring to so can\'t comment on facts you give, nor do I understand what the letters at the beginning of each paragraph mean. a good try.
- 01/01/2005
- 01:11:38
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Pretty ironic that the Taliban are one of the USA's biggest enemies right now, considering it was the Americans who originally put the Taliban into power.
- 14/12/2003
- 20:54:38
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This is obviously a very biased point of view. What about rape victims who fall pregnant - have you thought of the consequences of carrying a child conceived thru rape by a drug addict, a sick baby, the mother's mental wewllbeing. What about pregnancy's where the child has no brain or other major (and I mean major) deformities, and where carrying this child risks the mothers life also. You give no thought to her other children who need her. I've been in this situation, so don't preach God's ways to a person who has personally seen what God is capable of.
- 13/12/2003
- 16:20:41
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
This is a well researched and interesting paper. It is a pity more importance is not placed on the care of people suffering these disorders with respect to re-establishing their former lives. As you say, most emphasis seems to be placed on medication treatment, rather than other methods. Good work.
- 13/12/2003
- 15:57:07
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This was a well written and informative piece of work. Congrats! Only problem I have with it is the lack of paragraphs.
- 13/12/2003
- 15:50:46
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This sounds like it's taken straight from a book. You have no paragraphs to break up this information. Too over the top for me.
- 13/12/2003
- 15:45:37
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Smiley, Hoba is right, the grammar and spelling do need work. The idea is to give constructive criticism, not for you to nit pick and give bitchy comments to the people who make small typo's in their intelligent advice on the work in question.The essay needs work, not Hoba's comments!!!
- 11/12/2003
- 22:28:27
- Score: 12 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
Yr essay was very informative and well stated with references given to any points you made. Nice to see. I didn't know it was possible to 'grow out' of a disorder, as you stated regarding adopted children, but I guess that is something that could be argued in regard to 'nature vs nurture'.
- 08/12/2003
- 17:07:09
- Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
This stuff is foreign to me, but I can say that the language you use is very simple and easy to understand. The calculations part is where I lose it. Sorry, probably not much help to you.
- 07/12/2003
- 16:34:40
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I'm not into chemistry or biology, so this one kind of lost me. It looks well set out, but someone who knows something about biology would be better equipped to comment on the content.
- 07/12/2003
- 16:28:26
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
A very straighforward, well set out and easy to follow set of steps. Keep up the good work.
- 07/12/2003
- 16:23:03
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
You really made your points well in this work. It's a pity the UDHR (human rights) doesn't have more impact. One article states that every human has the right to live in a safe and secure environment. How safe and secure can it be if people are allowed to throw about threats and slander to people they don't approve of.
- 07/12/2003
- 16:04:53
- Score: 17 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
Very straightforward and informative essay. I like the idea that you don't 'blabble' on with too much scientific mumbo-jumbo. Good work
- 07/12/2003
- 15:46:41
- Score: 5 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
A few grammatical and punctuation errors, but otherwise a good piece. I think miracles represent hope. Some would say if you don't hope for something, then when you don't get it you can't be dissapointed. That's too pessimistic for my likely, personally, I'll keeping hoping for my miracles.
- 06/12/2003
- 16:17:08
- Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
That was a beautiful poem. You have a real flair for poetry, have you considered seeking publication for this? If not, you should. The moral to this poem, is acceptance of ourselves, not to be fooled by the false promises of another life, one which later shows it's true self to be a burden we don't want or need.
- 06/12/2003
- 16:03:14
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
You have written this from the heart and it shows. I've been there myself, and all I can tell you is get up every morning and thank god you have your kids. The loneliness will ease and so will your heart. Keep writing like you do, it's very emotional, but that's what hits the reader, and having that effect, making them feel something, is what every writer desires.
- 06/12/2003
- 15:52:26
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
Good work. You could have tied in sex change operations and how difficult it is for these people to be legally recognised as their new gender. Ironic, isn't it, in a society that prides itself on acceptance of multiculturalism, that these people find the lack of understanding and acceptance they so rightly deserve.
- 06/12/2003
- 15:38:33
- Score: 7 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
Your essay was very articulate. Only suggestion is that maybe you could have given a few suggestions as to what alternatives there could be to replace the death penalty. I'm actually pro-death penalty, but I still found your work made a strong argument against. Continue the good work.
- 06/12/2003
- 15:30:14
- Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
Yr other essays that I've read were written in such simple language that it made them really easy to read and understand. I naturally assumed this was how you always wrote. I was wrong! This essay is really impressive. A few typos, but otherwise it was great.
- 04/12/2003
- 19:02:06
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
This was a good effort. I agree that his work seemed to centre on the macabre, but even in death Poe found beauty. He differs little from say John Keats who was a Romantic Poet. both found beauty in death and dying. It's as they say "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Great job.
- 04/12/2003
- 06:52:17
- Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
You forgot to mention that loving yourself is the most important love of all! Once you do that, you are free to give and receive love. I must disagree with you in that I know of people who not given up on love, yet have never found that person who makes you catch yr breath. I think fate has more to do with finding love than whether you believe in love or not. You sound very much in love, but very naive.
- 03/12/2003
- 23:07:11
- Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
I like the way you write. You explain things in simple terminology that makes it not only easy to read but also understand for people of all ages.
- 03/12/2003
- 21:29:11
- Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
A very true to life essay on how victims of rape go through the turmoil of conflicting emotions. You express it very well. Christine's feeling of helplessness and guilt are unfortunately an all too common repercussion of rape. Good job.
- 02/12/2003
- 21:47:48
- Score: 24 out of 24 people found this comment useful.
Really detailed notes Hoba. Definitely worth reading for anyone studying Hamlet. Wish I'd had them when I was doing it!
- 01/12/2003
- 23:16:41
- Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
Great Essay. Alot of research has gone into this and it shows. A great addition could have been the actual process they go through to be accepted into these gangs, e.g. jumping in.
- 01/12/2003
- 17:46:10
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
Your frustration is pretty evident in this essay, but your right, you can get fined for just about anything. I was nearly fined (talked my way out of it) when my four year old son needed to pee, no toilets to be seen, so took him to discreet part of park and let nature take it's course. The officer said it was obscene behaviour!! Told him it was either the flowers that got watered or his shoes, make the choice!
- 23/11/2003
- 17:06:40
- Score: 16 out of 16 people found this comment useful.
So funny! I could just swap New Zealand for Australia and my list would be the same. Can sympathise with you.
- 23/11/2003
- 16:57:54
- Score: 24 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
You really hit the nail on the head. This type of essay should be passed to all teenagers contemplating dieting in the hope of discouraging them before they develop anorexia or bullimia after they realise that fad diets don't work.
- 23/11/2003
- 16:38:27
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I liked how simple your explanations were. I haven't actually studied art, but your wording made it very easy to understand the concept behind contrast.
- 23/11/2003
- 16:29:26
- Score: 13 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
This essay is a first grade piece of work. I can understands why you got 100% for it. You have made very valid points and backed them up with great quotes.Great work.
- 18/11/2003
- 02:29:48
- Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
This essay is very broad in that it categorises all women who have abortions into one group. What about those who have abortion because of a rape pregnancy, women who have to abort due to severe medical complications with the child or themselves or women who have had what is classed as a 'missed miscarriage' where the baby dies but does not expel itself and therefore must be done medically. Be careful not to stamp all women who have abortions with the same condemning attitude this essay seems to have. I apologise if this was not your intent, but as you say, women suffer greatly after going through this situation, they do not need the added burden of being judged by others, believe me, they do enough of that to themselves.
- 16/11/2003
- 05:28:34
- Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
A great essay. Only one suggestion and that would be to validate your information by stating where it came from in regards to the actual methods of testing. Don't know about you, but we were always taught that you can't state a fact unless you then show where this information came from e.g. testing done on animals was documented and video by the animals rights movement on September 19, 1988 etc.. State the fact, give your proof, then sum it up. It makes it a more believable essay if you know that the information is accurate and obtained from reliable sources rather than heresay or guesswork.Other than that, it was an impressive piece of work, especially how you make your points in a straighforward way, rather than emotionally. Good work
- 15/11/2003
- 05:41:31
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
This subject is truly one of the most controversial topics argued about today. One comment you made was that Euthanasia can be defined as withholding of life saving medicine. I do agree with that, but in doing that it raises questions regarding those who do not believe in receiving medical treatment due to religious beliefs. Such beliefs are considered the right of these people to practise their own religion, a basic human right, as well as a constitutional one. If that is the case, then refusing a blood transfusing, the result being death, would be considered euthanasia. How can we separate instances like these from those of the decisions made through a moral or ethical belief. We, in good conscience, cannot allow some people to carry through with euthanasia because of a certain belief or faith, but not allow others due to theirs. Having watched a best friend die slowly and painfully from cancer, at a young age, I know, that had she asked me to help her go, to end her pain, I would have not hesitated. I loved her with all my heart, we had grown up together, been each others bridesmaids, godmother to each others young children, and to watch every ounce of dignity stripped from her, the pain and humiliation showing in her eyes, it tore me apart, and it is a picture I cannot get out of my head. This is not the way people want to be remembered. I'm not a strong religious person, but I'm sure that if God were as just and compassionate as people say, he would understand that these people have gone through enough pain knowing they are leaving loved ones behind and missing out on the rest of their lives, and he would therefore not judge them as sinful or weak for wanting to leave and join him while they are still able to make the decision themselves.
- 13/11/2003
- 14:44:51
- Score: 30 out of 30 people found this comment useful.
This was a great essay! Your detailed research is evident throughout your work.I have only one comment, and it is not a criticism, more just a suggestion that I think could have been incorporated. There is also the idea that sport has now been removed from it's original conception, which was that of a past-time designed for exercise and fun. Sport has become so competitive and more about the dollar factor, and outdoing other teams and countries, that we tend to forget that sport is supposed to be fun. It is commonly accepted that once the enjoyment is taken out of any activity and replaced by the desire to be not just the best that you can be, but in fact, the best there has ever been, that the sport or activity participated in loses its original attraction. I won't state that all sports are first entered into purely because the person enjoys them, but I would think that this would be the most popular reason anyone first takes up a sport. Once into the competitive side the sport begins to take on an entity of it's own. We, as the public, do not always help this matter by our constant demands for bigger, better and faster results in the sports arena.All in all, I commend you on one of the most impressive essays I have seen in a long time. Congratulations
- 12/11/2003
- 01:14:41
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
I must say I found it hard to picture someone with 'dark mahogeny' skin and red hair like the colour of a 'cheap lipstick'. The contrast between these two descriptions made it hard for me to draw a clear picture of the person you described. I'm not saying that it's not possible for people to have these colour combinations, it just was a real stretch of the imagination. Then again, anything that makes you really think is not a bad thing. Am in two minds as to whether your essay was successful in it's goal to allow the reader to imagine this person 'Kevin' from babyhood to old age. I think it would have been great if you could have incorporated some more imaginative descriptions into the change in his personality, feelings and thoughts as he aged.
- 09/11/2003
- 15:47:25
- Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
I have to say, your essay gave me a good laugh. It's sad to think that a couple of bad experiences has soured your idea of helping others though. I agree about 'sussing' out a situation first, but please, please, don't hesitate to help someone in need if you think the situation is a genuine one. All too often we here of people being raped, attacked and murdered, their screams for help to passer-by's being ignored but the people are reluctant to get involved. I know from experience, as a victim of a violent attack, that being ignored as you plead for help, has just as much affect on you as the attack itself. Keep your sense of humour about the situations like the one you mentioned - remember Karma - what goes around comes around. Someday you may need assistance too.
- 09/11/2003
- 15:37:14
- Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
Although I would have liked to have had more to read (a bit too short), this was a very emotional and true to life account, from a child's point of view, where the breakup of marriages is concerned. I found it to be a nice change from only hearing about how hard it is from the parents point of view regarding bringing new people into their children's lives. Good on you for being so honest and willing to share your experience with others.
- 08/11/2003
- 21:05:06
- Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.