Araby

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Araby - the Conclusion I kept on glimpsing at the darkness, as everything was blank. The night air was bleak and cold, but thinking about her kept on making my forehead sweat. It bothered me that I could not remove her presence from my sight, and I felt like shouting at her "tell me where to look because everywhere I look, it reminds me of you," but she was not there, nothing was there. I was in even more anger than before walking down the street. I saw a pebble on the side of the road and anger wanted me kick it, but my heart prevented me. Confused, mad and frustrated, I stuffed my left hand in my trousers. Then continued to move along the road, with my heart beating faster and the cold breeze passing by me. Suddenly, everything became vague. The next thing I noticed, my eyes were wet and the first drops of tear rolled down my cheek.

I stopped and just stood there, trying to think of something, I was blank! I was standing right there in the middle of the street looking straight ahead; but was not able see anything, as I could not concentrate. Frustration took a hold of me, I felt like yelling, screaming something at the top of my lungs, but I couldn't. A man passed to the right of me, I guess he was telling me to move, I don't remember his exact words; but I still stood there, thinking of her. By this point, I realized that the more I thought about her, the more angrier I became. Then a crackle in the sky distracted me, as I looked up, I could feel the raindrops, hitting against me. I closed my eyes and kept my face still, allowing the rain to soak me. It provided me with a sense of relaxation. As I became completely drenched, the frustration and anger within me vanished. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. Looking towards the sky, I opened my eyes, which were resisting the raindrops; then I smiled for the first and final time, as if mocking my own failure. Afterwards began to walk again, dragging my feet along the ground, making splashes in the puddles of water that had formed. At that point the street lambs come on, and I looked down and so my own reflection. I knelt down, for a closer inspection of my face and for the first time tried to listen to my heart. I kept studying my shadow for a while, soon afterward shifting my focus on her - her for whom I did, which I wouldn't do for anyone else. That was the first time I realized she was not for me, she was an illusion, just as my face in the water. Once again I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stood up. That was it, I stared walking with my eyes open and conclualed that, my feelings for her were mere disillusions that were never possible in the real world. Soon I realized the rain was long gone and continued walking along the dark path.