Gender Differences and Advice on Conflict Resolution.

Essay by squirlygirlCollege, UndergraduateA, October 2003

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Gender Differences and Advice on Conflict Resolution

Contrary to what many people believe, it is fairly easy for a female to develop a stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a male. Of course this male has to be a Labrador Retriever. With human males, it is extremely difficult. This is because there are many differences between the male and female genders. The main problem isn't the differences, it is the lack of clarity in conversation. In an attempt to go beyond the basic stereotypes of men and women, studies have focused on descriptions of differences and advice on better understanding the opposite sex.

Deborah Tannen, author of "Put Down That Paper and Talk to Me"(1991) writes "For most women the language of conversation is... a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships"(p. 10). She also writes "For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and maintain status in a hierarchical social order" (p.

10). She explains that men speak more in public settings, whereas women prefer to speak in private settings. Tannen describes this as Rapport talk and Report talk. In Rapport talk, commonly used by women, emphasis is placed on emotions and feelings. Report talk, commonly used by men, is usually used in public speaking to convey information, tell jokes or tell stories. While a woman is talking she often assumes that her partner is not listening because men don't always reply. Men like to think things through before talking; they gather their thoughts and often dismiss them, not deeming them important enough to speak about.

John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" (1992), agrees that there are two types of communication: one belonging to men, which he calls the Martian language; the other belonging to women, which...