User Details For: sargento

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  • Could be improved

    Decent personal reactions to the topic, but could benefit from some anthropological literature on ritual which would help you relate this to other examples of religious tests of faith.Also, be careful with comments like, "most of them are poor and uneducated. They live in a rural area were there is not much contact with the surrounding communities, in other words these people are culturally isolated." in an acedemic paper. The fact that you obviously feel culturally superior to these people hampers your analysis (such as it is) and makes it clear that your paper is not an objective look at the subject.
    • 13/12/2002
    • 21:10:24
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Not bad for sixth grade...

    but even if you are in 6th grade proofread, spellcheck, and realize that phrases like "it wiggled side-to side continually decreasing [in] amplitude" make it look like you copied part of the phrase out of a book and have no idea what it means.Aside from that, his book is generally translated as "The Starry Messenger" not "A Message From The Star"Lastly, some mention of the reason for is trouble with the church is in order. He was accused of heresy not because he argued for Copernicanism, but because he claimed that his observations should be used to guide the interpretation of scripture, and that when scripture was unclear that science should be used as a guide.
    • 13/12/2002
    • 20:43:17
    • Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Good reaction, bad art history

    If you're looking for one person's reaction to two works of art, then this paper is pretty good. If you're supposed to reasearch something for an art history class, keep looking. Material wealth is a positive attribute in 15th century religious painting. Keep in mind that the catholic church was fabulously wealthy at the time, and that most major saints and figures were beautifully adorned to display the riches of the kingdom of heaven(see the virgin mary enthroned in heaven or the robes of the angels in other painrings of the period).
    • 13/12/2002
    • 19:33:35
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Edit

    Scroll theough the essay and look at the first phrase of every paragraph. Almost all of them begin with "Then," or "On the other hand," Besides," etc. You should rephrase most of these, or in most cases just remove them.
    • 13/12/2002
    • 19:11:35
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Add an intro

    This is a good essay, but it would be better if you googled yourself a recent news article about someone's pitt bulls being taken away (or the breed being banned in a town or something) and then used that as your intro, claiming that the breed is misrepresented and misunderstood.
    • 12/12/2002
    • 23:40:40
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.