User Details For: Tjop

Essay List
Comments List
  • Huh?

    The title and essay don't match. I'm confused!
    • 01/11/2006
    • 10:06:22
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Great!

    For an 8th grade essay this is very good! I remember loving R.L. Stine when I was younger! Good analysis!
    • 28/10/2006
    • 00:54:14
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Marks

    In case anyone was wondering what the mark for this essay was, I just received it back and was given 73%.
    • 27/10/2006
    • 07:21:58
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Whoops

    This was all in one document in microsoft word, but I think i should've split it into 3 seperate essays. Whoopsey
    • 26/10/2006
    • 07:14:21
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Thank YOU!

    Thanks for your kind words, and thank you for your open-mindedness in how you viewed my essay!
    • 26/10/2006
    • 07:07:16
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • I have to thank you

    We have to do a SWOT analysis on an NGO for Corporate Comm., and even though we learnt it last year, and earlier this year, and AGAIN about 2 weeks ago, I still didn't get how to do it! Fortunatley, your essay has given me a great example and made it 10 X easier to understand! Thanks!
    • 23/10/2006
    • 07:45:35
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Very interesting but some constructive crit to give

    Interesting topic, I've found Armenia fascinating since i started listening to System of a Down 7 years ago. Lots of information, but a few little problems:'It was the first nation to adopt Christianity as its official language in 301 A.C.'. Christianity=religion, not language.'Armenians received much prosecution...' this should be PERSECUTION, not PROSECUTION.Other than these and a few other minor mitakes, very good.
    • 23/10/2006
    • 07:30:23
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Huh?

    What about 'Magical, Eagle, Republic, Courageous, amazing,? You can't list a load of words, say they mean a lot to you, then not explain why for ALL of them! And this is soooo short! What is the point?? 'OOh, let me be all patriotic and stuff and maybe I'll get some points for an extremely sub-standard excuse for an essay!'
    • 23/10/2006
    • 07:25:52
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Was it meant to be this short?

    This is a bit short and constitutes an introduction. Please seperate this into paragraphs to make it easier to read! Oh, in case you want more sources on school violence, you should look up South African news headlines. In the past 2 weeks, 3 students have been stabbed in school, 2 of which have died! otherwise, good information but too conversational
    • 23/10/2006
    • 07:02:05
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • LOVE-ly!!

    But PLEASE break it into paragraphs! It is very difficult to read such a huge body of test in one chunk. Other than that, beautiful, just like your other submissions!
    • 21/10/2006
    • 12:20:08
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Excuse me? 100%??

    I will not deny that this is a very informative essay, but in Grd 9 my class also had to review Life Is Beautiful so I know what is expected at this level. There are commas in the wrong places and a LACK of commas where they should be. A lot of 'big' words have been used, and I am guessing that the writer has just found these words in a dictionary in order to impress the teacher. It is not necesary, and some of the words have been used out of context. I would've given this essay about 75%
    • 21/10/2006
    • 12:17:45
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Constructive crit.

    Good source list, good information and well written. Unfortunatley, the way that you have seperated yourself from being a teenager and said things like 'we were young once before too'. Seeing as this is a 13th Grd essay, I can't help but suspect plagiarism or at least paraphrasing without proper referencing.
    • 18/10/2006
    • 05:15:59
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Well hang on...

    I agree that Wikipedia should not be used, but since this is an 8th Grade essay, I doubt there is any problem with it being cited as a source. I'm very impressed! Well done! And I think it's a bit unfair to leave a comment but not rate an essay so from me you got a +2! Keep up the good work
    • 16/10/2006
    • 15:04:12
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • What happened to my comment?

    As jmk12345 said, this is NOT college level work. Also, it would be a lot more effective if the ad you analyzed was attached to this 'essay'. And please stop submitting c**p coz you're just wasting people's time in your selfish pursuit for points. You're not helping anyone.
    • 16/10/2006
    • 14:56:49
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Good question...

    You ask the question 'Are you a good language learner?'. I would accept this better as an essay question if the essay itself did not start with: 'Knowing if we are a good language learners is not an easy task'. Hmmm.... That doesn't really make sense. You might have well have put 'Are we good learners with language English?'. Please, Microsoft Word has a spelling and grammar check. There's no excuse for this!
    • 16/10/2006
    • 14:28:36
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Length?

    This is a 'stub', not an essay. If it was part of a longer essay I could understand, but an 'essay' of this length and information only constitutes an introduction. I think you are just submitting whatever you can find to get points.
    • 14/10/2006
    • 10:30:00
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • U almost had me...

    I was really enjoying it until you said: "This article gives the impression that the United States will never win against the terrorists, which is untrue." Who knows? Who are you to say? Nostradamus?
    • 09/10/2006
    • 14:08:40
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Typical american

    This essay is an example of typical American stupidity, er, I mean Patriotism. Do you KNOW what your troops are doing in Iraq? Have you ever met an Iraqi? Well I know that the only thing the American soldiers are good at in Iraq is killing innocent civilians. The Middle East is full of conflicts, and they should be left to fight their own fights, as they have done for centuries. I have met Iraqis- do you actually think they're greatful that Americans kill their families and put them into prisons? America should back off. But, of course you get a good mark because it's all patriotic and stuff. Funny, if we write bad things about Bush in politics tests we get bonus marks!!!
    • 30/09/2006
    • 08:52:36
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Not 'Rundamentalism'!

    Islamic Fundamentalism. Sorry, I type too fast for my own mind sometimes.
    • 27/09/2006
    • 13:03:53
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Didn't like this one as much as the other one!

    I would have added that Islam is the world's second largest religion, al-Qaeda must always be spelt with a small 'a' at the beginning except when starting a sentence, more about what extremism is (also known as Islamic Rundamentalism or Islamism), and that although al-Qaeda is a Sunni Muslim group, it has gained an ally with Shi'a Hezbollah. There should have been an equal amount about Hezbollah to al-Qaeda, and more about other 'extremist groups', such as the Egyptian Islamic Jihad Group. Sorry, I'm very picky about things like this, especially since I have just written a LONG essay on the political ideology of al-Qaeda!
    • 27/09/2006
    • 13:01:32
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Hey!

    This is probably one of my favourite topics! Glad to see you used some of the same sources as I did for a similar essay I have just written (not submitted yet). Good work, but I have to point out a couple of things. The word 'look' should never be used in an academic essay, and wikipedia, because it is updated by anyone and everyone, cannot be relied on as an accurate source so should not be used in referencing academic research. Otherwisem keep up the good work!!
    • 27/09/2006
    • 12:52:55
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Good

    Why are you doing this in high school? I only did this in University! Good flow, nice information.
    • 24/09/2006
    • 07:08:20
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow

    That's beautiful. When I started to read it, I didn't like the staccato-like short sentences. After reading it over, I realised that it adds to the story. Really lovely. It brought a tear to my eye... I think there are many people out htere who can relate to this story
    • 24/09/2006
    • 07:03:07
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • So sweet!

    I can't believe that they make you write such long essays in the 7th grade! Back in my day..... But seriously, this is very good. I like your review of the story... keep up the good work!!
    • 22/09/2006
    • 07:32:10
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Ok

    A bit of an abrupt ending...and you will be able to 'servive' better if you spell it with a 'u'! Otherwise, good even flow and sentence construction.
    • 22/09/2006
    • 07:27:27
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Good, but...

    This is a very good creative writing piece, very emotional. Unfortunately, I didn't give it a full smiley face because there were some spelling and grammatical errors. Otherwise, a very good effort!
    • 20/09/2006
    • 12:28:44
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Not one of my best

    I will admit, this is not one of my best essays. I did not use nearly enough sources, and it is too long. The tutors who marked my essay told me that it needed more information on Palestine, and that there was not a good flow, and too many statistics.
    • 17/09/2006
    • 14:58:38
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Thanks

    Thanks for your comment, I had a lot of fun writing this essay- even though it took me until 4 in the morning to do! any advice?
    • 17/09/2006
    • 14:48:56
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.