Declaration of Independence (Redone in a new style to protest Internet Pop-Ups)

Essay by ZooLaBuSHigh School, 11th gradeA+, April 2004

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Declaration of Independence

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for internet users to dissolve the communicational bands which have connected them with one another, and to assume, among the powers of the data highway, the separate and equal station to which the laws of surfing and of surfer's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of programming engineers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all websites are created equal; that they are endowed by their Webmaster with certain inherent rights; that among these are fast transfers, easy navigation, and the pursuit of information. That to secure these rights, website laws are instituted among men, deriving their powers from the consent of the servers. That, whenever any form of website becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the programming technicians to alter or abolish it, and to institute a pop-up free website, laying it's foundation on such principles, and organizing it's powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that websites long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that computer users are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of harassment and annoyances, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such websites, and to provide new guard for their future browsing. Such has been the patient sufferance of these web surfers; and such is now the necessity...