Does Belief in God Make Sense In The Modern World?

You have assumed in this essay that science and religion cannot co-exist. Many eminent scientists would disagree with you. You refer to Darwin and yet Wallace who also wrote on the origin of the species and was also well-known for his spiritualism

Loved it!

You could have differentiated bewteen organised religion and spiritual belief, which can be two different things. I'm not at all religious myself, however I am not completely against the idea of a God existing, I just don't know. However, I am against institutionalized religion. I think the distinction between that and real spiritual belief should have been made.


Also perhaps the idea that belief in God is born more out of fear than of love? It is an arguable point. Could compliment your argument that science is the new religion. It explains creation, and religion is thus no longer needed to explain it. People have answers to things and do not feel the need to have a blind faith in a supposed higher being, and thus are not frightened into following a religion.


I think, personally, that institutionalized religion came about as a means of controlling the masses, or possibly a way of teaching what was right and wrong at the time the religion was born. I do not think that any Holy Books should be taken literally, although I think it is possible to derive guidlines on behaviour from them. I also believe it is possible to be spiritual, and to believe in a higher force without bending to institutionalized religion.

Grammar problems: Sententce structure turns out to make very little sense in many cases; too many simple sentences


Textual problems: VERY one-sided (however, perhaps these were the directions?); has claims that cannot be sited because they are false ("the new 'radical' alternative has taken over as the main religion", Atheism only makes up 2.4% according to the CIA World Factbook [2001 Survey]); has claims that could be sited yet simply are not sited; shows radical examples instead of moderate to realistic examples (school example); could use a larger vocabulary for a sophomore student

I enjoyed reading your essay. I felt it was a great insight and i could relate to many of your thoughts. Overall, i loved that you included that today there are many 'scientific alternatives' because i feel that that is an essential element of belief (or non belief) in God in the 21st century. 10/10 !

It's nice then and again to read an engaging + well articulated essay. Well done. I would add crticisms like the others but will refrain from doing so since you're only a tenth grader and that essay was of a high quality and not at all bad for someone your age. You should have recieved more than 85%.