The follwing play depicts a hypothetical meeting between Margery Kempe, The Wife of Bath, from Canterbury Tales, and Chauntecleer, a rooster. Lit. in the 14th century.

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( The scene opens in the women's bathroom at California

University of Pennsylvania - the one in the student

union on the second floor in case any of you are

curious. Margery, Wife, and Chauntecleer are in there.

They are all on their way to Dr. Hartman's English

Literature class to see if she is doing them justice.

They have heard about some professors who speak

disparagingly of them, and of others who purposely

distort the truth about them, so they spend their days

seeking justice so they can importune God to strike

misfortune on those professors who adulterate their

image. It is not a collective effort, however. They all

act individually. Wife is standing at the mirror,

applying lipstick and mascara to her now antiquated

face, and Margery has just come out of the stall after

micturating(yes, believe it or not, spirits piss also).

Chauntecleer, a male of course, has unknowingly entered

the wrong bathroom. He thought it was the men's

bathroom!! He is sitting in the stall defecating, rather

trying to, because he is constipated. He passes the time

by reading "Heavenly Cocks", one of only two magazines

published in Heaven. The other is "Heavenly Cocks

Transformed". You see, hell is often seen as a "hole" a

"pit" a "yawning cavern", which are symbolic of the

vagina. Hell is associated with the evil represented by

women. That is not to say men do not go to hell. It only

means that men who go to hell lose their penises and are

emasculated. To go to hell is to be associated with Eve.

Conversely, to go to Heaven means one has to "rise up"

to "rise to the occasion" by meeting specific

"expectations". So, in Heaven, everyone gets a penis.