Essay by Alucard23College, UndergraduateA-, May 2005

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It was a regular weekday. I had just finished my favorite class, Interpersonal Communications, and I was very glad the school day was over. As usual my little brother Jason was being a little brat, and following me asking me annoying questions. I had just learned about I-Language from the best teacher Mrs. Jensen. I decided to give it a try in this situation. Instead of doing what the little puke deserved, a backhand to the face, I would try I-language.

I knew that these feelings of frustration were mostly my part and he was just being a regular kid, so I needed to try out the I-Language process. I could say what I would regularly say and throw out some you-language at the brat, i.e. you idiot, leave me alone! This wouldn't do, and then he would just scream and make the situation worse.

I-messages come in three simple parts.

First describe the behavior (that's easy), then your feelings about the behavior (pretty obvious), and last you describe the consequences that it has on you. The good thing about this process is that the order doesn't even matter.

Normally I would have done something drastic, but I decided to go with a nicer resolution. "Jason, when I am annoyed by you, I feel like my private space is being invaded. I might lash out and hurt you if I'm not left me alone."

I described his annoying behavior, explained how it affected me, and then told him what might happen if he continues. Jason replied, "Fine, I'll go play computer games."

Usually he would just keep crying and whining, but since I didn't blame him, he decided it would be better to go play his games then have to suffer my wrath. The I-language pretty much worked out here,