User Details For: ObeyTheWatermelon

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  • Great

    Except for a couple grammatical mistakes somewhere in there, this was very well done! Even though I disagree with your view, you made a very clear statement and you supported it very well. If I could give you one tip it would be to try and make it less informal, if possible.again, good job!
    • 10/01/2005
    • 18:17:05
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.

    My favourite religion website! Excellent choice!Fantastic Essay! Really! Thumbs up on all counts!
    • 07/01/2005
    • 17:48:38
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Confused

    Were you rebutting another essay? Because I didn't get to read the initial essay, nor was there even a mention of a title so I suppse I'll have to take you word for it.As for the actual essay, your essay conveys a VERY misleading message that all pro-lifers are creepy religious folk. Me, for example, I am as liberal as they come, and I was pro- choice for the longest time, but during a religions assingement this semester I was argueing in it's favour and I could not find any reason for why a woman should abort other than if her life is in danger. I'm also an athiest. So you need to get your facts straight before you make such blunt generalizations. I'm not insulted or anything, but teachers and stuff look for those kinds of things.
    • 07/01/2005
    • 17:28:06
    • Score: 6 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Interesting!

    this essay is well written exapt for ONE component which is quite vital, and missing from your essay. The real reason why FDR did what he did (not argueing that he DID do it). ONLY Americans would consider what he did as bad. The truth is that over hisory Americans have been known not to give two shits about any other country, something they call patriotism. FDR had to get them angry if he wanted to join the war effort. And are you saying that America should not have joined WW2?!
    • 05/01/2005
    • 18:49:37
    • Score: 11 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Awsome

    Well researched. In Canada we start school at 8:45 though, and I can tell you, the late lines (to get a late slip) are longer than the lobby (people stand all the way to the middle of the entrance hallway, twice as long as the lobby). That said, as a person of experience in having school start late and having a job, i can guarentee you I get virtually no sleep anyways.great essay though!
    • 04/01/2005
    • 18:51:10
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Eyes balls seperate from muscles

    That was fantastic. Actually reminds me of a book by Douglas Adams. Well done! And don't listen to teachers about things like that!
    • 04/01/2005
    • 18:44:39
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Holy..

    Didn't you sign something saying "this is my essay" before submitting? This is pure plagerism and you're in deep trouble. And why fake a mark? jeez..
    • 01/01/2005
    • 20:29:03
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow.

    though I disagree, this essay was pretty good untill "flawless"... Flawless? First of all nothing is flawless, and secondly, nothing in your esssay even claims that this new law is "flawless", merely better than the previous. You might wish to take that into sonsideration. Not to mention the amount of information you provided was less than satisfactory, as you provided NO evidence that this "flawless" law was actually working. Where are the stats?
    • 01/01/2005
    • 20:25:35
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Very good

    Informative, and persuasive. Just one question: Where did the essay format go? Paragraphs and such help keep it organized, as opposed to a series of sentances which feel as if you're writing as you think.Extremely well done.
    • 27/12/2004
    • 18:48:10
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Not bad

    Content wise this is a pretty good essay, but most sentances end up redundant and/or with sentance structures, and it does not make for an easy read. Definately a good start though.
    • 25/12/2004
    • 19:10:54
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Very well done

    I was surprised this came from a sixth grader. The language is very impressive, and you should do very well in highschool.I love the Romans.
    • 25/12/2004
    • 18:19:00
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Level

    I skipped the intro part (name and stuff) and jumped into the essay. While I was reading I was reading it with the eye of an 11th grader and was quite surprised with the level of writing. Of course I waived it off thinking it was a freshman in highschool or something to that extent.Obviously, I was mistaken.It is not my intention to be cruel, but this essay does not seem collage level. The sentances are either run on, or fragmented, or just far too simple. You could have done so much more with this essay, not to mention you could have risen the level of the essay simply by applying more mature terminology, and a higher standard for overall flow.
    • 25/12/2004
    • 18:14:00
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.