Eighteen shots of liquid sin (poetry)

Essay by PacojalebA, September 2004

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eighteen shots of liquid sin

The Eighteenth Shot of Liquid Sin

The minutes pass by, the water falls, from bloodshot vacant eyes,

my heart is torn with pain and fear, the anger starts to rise.

The eighteenth shot of liquid sin can't help me to forget,

the guilt and shame I feel each day, fueled by my regrets.

I made a sacred promise, to God for my life and I, a promise which was broken when I saw my baby die.

The demon in the bottle once again posessed my soul.

The eighteenth shot of liquid sin would somehow make me whole.

I really meant those words I said when I promised not to drink,

but standing by my worthless life, I had no time to think.

It all seemed so surreal that day after all was said and done,

I started down that lonely path where I had first begun.

I took my grief, my fear and pain and shoved it all away,

the eighteenth shot of liquid sin would get me through the day.

Each night I would ask for death when I took a chance to pray,

my God was gone, my life was dead and I was on the way.

12 months went by, each day I tried to drink my sins away,

the eighteenth shot of liquid sin was asking me to pay.

Then one day a friend dropped by, concerned that I would die,

he wouldn't let me stay alone or listen to my lies.

He helped me find a healing path to grace, truth and life,

I found the way to strength and hope, to God I gave my strife.

I knew the woman who was always there, desired a chance to live,

a loving, caring, child of God, with so much more...