User Details For: dylanna

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  • Fantastically written.

    Well written, portrays ABA as it really is.Only thing I noticed is 'as a pose to' this should be 'as opposed to'.
    • 05/01/2006
    • 09:35:06
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Could be better.

    "The symbolism of the spinning wheel shows how God can take each piece of our life and change it for His good."How? Needs more explanation. Otherwise good, but could be a lot longer.
    • 19/12/2005
    • 11:06:57
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Excellent.

    Thought this was very well written. Liked it.Although, summary spelt with an a, not an e.
    • 01/11/2005
    • 11:41:04
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Little short.

    Would say this is ok. A little bit informal. 'Loose' is wrong- lose reality is correct.I would say that alcoholism is not curable. It is controllable.I wouldn't say that banning alcohol, or taking it away is inhumane. A little bit harsh!
    • 01/11/2005
    • 10:26:28
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Very nice!

    Love the way you have written this. You seem to have a real passion for the bloke, and so much respect to you for that!The first paragraph is superb, especially the first sentence, and so draws the reader in.Excellent!
    • 31/10/2005
    • 14:16:26
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Brief.

    But well written. No spelling or grammar mistakes that I could see.I think perhaps you may have simplified the subject a little too much.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 14:13:19
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Sorry.

    Didn't realise there was a study notes section to this website.I apologise.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 14:00:29
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Still, just notes.

    Not an essay. Do you write any?Please learn how to use their, there and they're.Their- belonging to themthere- over therethey're- they are. Hence the elision.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 13:59:18
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Deregowski.

    Not really an essay. You seem to have just written up your notes on the study.Wouldn't say that the ethical issue you used was really an ethical issue. It's more of an ethnocentricity issue.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 13:46:53
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Overall good.

    Very good introduction. Nice to see an essay on here that tells the reader what to expect when reading an essay, just like an abstract.Interesting background on when plastic surgery started.The rhinoplasty paragraph at the start seems a little out of place.Good comments on the influence of reality TV. However, the tv show titles 'Extreme makeover' and 'The Swan' should have inverted commas around them.You have used 'there' instead of 'their' in the sentence 'look their best'.'no-holds-barred' should have inverted commas too.You change person at the end. In the intro you use 'I', but in the conclusion you use 'the writer'.Not sure about your conclusion that people will 'look plastic' in the future. This seems a little pejorative and subjective.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 13:41:22
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Assonated?

    I think Tupac was assassinated, not assonated!Interesting, but a little short on the issues of imagery- you only give one example, when you state there are many uses.Perhaps put it in context with some other of his songs?Could be longer.
    • 31/10/2005
    • 13:27:11
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Very interesting...

    Well written, with good paragraphing. It flowed well, and gave just enough information as a taster.Also interesting about the joint custody of the island.One small point- you don't need to say it wasn't formed naturally if you have already said it's artificial. Overall, very good.
    • 29/10/2005
    • 08:01:01
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • 3rd para interesting...

    But too short, not enough info. Too personal.
    • 28/10/2005
    • 14:46:43
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Very interesting..

    A few minus points though;Written in the first person. Not sure if I would have written it in the first person, but I take that back if you were specifically asked to do so. When I was at school we were told that doing so was too informal.Also, there is really no clear introduction about what you intend to cover, and what the aim of the piece is. I would have started with the definition of stress as per the dictionary, and then expanded into the health implications, etc.Punctuation a little out at times, but overall good."The word stress in the future..." not sure why the meaning of it will change, and how- this is not adequately covered.Paragraphing is fragmented- especially paragraph 4.'Pretty boring'- too colloquial for an essay. Tedious/monotonous would be better.However, this was a really interesting piece, and once those minor points were changed, it would be excellent!Interesting stuff about the fruit flies and 'Eustress'.Also never thought about stressed being desserts backwards!!!
    • 27/10/2005
    • 14:42:16
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Interesting...

    But not that well structured. Seemed a little fragmented. You need to make it flow better.
    • 27/10/2005
    • 14:27:45
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Not proven.. but how can anyone prove such a thing?

    Sure the thesis isn't proven, yet the author of this has looked at a great number of plays and has come to this conclusion. i agree to a certain extent with the thesis and this essay if very very useful!
    • 26/04/2003
    • 17:35:21
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • I would love to know what provoked you to write this piece.

    It would be so interesting to know what this piece was done for. I thought it was a very interesting thing to do, and i disagree with SilkThaShocka in that i think the essay is a personal one and the author investtigates the word at a personal as well as etymological level. I liked that he used different languages as this added a different level to his search.Fascinating and perhaps we should all investigate words thoroughly before we used them.
    • 26/04/2003
    • 11:00:08
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Freaky..

    But very interesting! i liked the creative style of writing. It's an interesting idea that a Fan could call someone like a Siren!Excellent
    • 26/04/2003
    • 10:52:30
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • What the ****?

    I don't really understand the point of this- it is not cohesively written and seems like an extended dictionary definition. Perhaps it is a poem?Poor.
    • 26/04/2003
    • 10:37:39
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Breastfeeding Vs. Formula Feeding

    This was written in a good, informative style and therefore was excellent. There was lots of factual information and I thought it was excellent.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 08:35:55
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Should U.S go to war with Iraq?

    Not particulary formal but I'm glad that you used some factual information. All of the arguments against the war were there but I think to really get my 'excellent' rating you would have to displays all the possible pro-war arguments and shoot them down to the ground. That would be a good read. Good use of bibliography though.Overall, fairly well argued. However, not persuasive enough- I am still pro-war. Never mind! Average.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 08:26:42
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Getting Away With Murder

    I thought this was a very well written piece with lots of evidence. I loved the narrative at the outsetregarding monopoly- this made the subject accessible for everyone. People will always be divided on this subject- I don't particularly agree with this stance- but I thought it was very persuasive and brilliantly written. Excellent!
    • 25/04/2003
    • 08:15:50
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Children vs. violent television movies what our children see on t.v in the movies or read about

    I thought this essay was average- borderlining poor. There were a few spelling mistakes, yet the most grating was this line; 'The world's future lye's'. This spelling is clearly wrong yet the others may be the difference between American and Standard English (which I use). Yet again,like a lot of these essays, this piece is hugely biased, contains little factual information and is highly sensational. The over-reaction to the subject matter is also written in a colloquial style. My suggestion is that this essay should suggest measures to be taken against this type of 'corruption' and my sugestion is that parents should know what their children are watching. Also, the other side of the argument is that perhaps -people may have a natural predisposition to such violence, and that movies trigger this. millions of people watch scary movies, yet they don't all cause pain to others.The main problem with this essay is that the person needs to back up their essay with some evidence!!Scrapes average in my opinion.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 08:08:11
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Piaget's Theory- Describe the characteristics of Piaget's concept of stage.

    Short but concise this essay has clearly been written by someone who knows their stuff. it includes all the information a psychology student at As level needs to know about Piaget.The only thing the author could have noted was the follow-up study to Piaget's work by Samuel and Bryant which is also on most As level syllabuses.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 07:57:23
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Just Say No To Chocolate-- essay proves that there is no such thing as a chocoholic because to be one would be saying you are an addict. it compares addiction to cravings.

    This essay was not really backed up with any real factual information and was merely opinion. It was based on her opinion, and since no real studies have been done on this subject of being a 'chocoholic' there really was no argument.My suggestion for this essay would be for the author to consider the 6 psychological fetures of addiction; salience (going out of your way to get chocolate- it consumes (pardon the pun)your every thought- and you do nothing else but think about it; mood modification- chocolate makes one happy because of the serotonin produced; tolerance- someone eats excessive amounts when before they only had to eat a little chocolate to get the same satisfaction; withdrawal symptom- such as suggested by the author in the essay- conflict- they know that the chocolate is making them unhealthy (ie, fat) but they continue to eat it- because they are depressed about their weight- hence the vicious circle effect (this is also known as cognitive dissonance) and lastly; relapse- they start eating chocolate again even when dieting.Addiction is not just based on physiology like the author suggests- it is based on psychological features and the author has failed to note this. People can get addicted to anything- as long as these 6 features appear. According to the argument of the autor people would not get addicted to gambling. This is simply not true.Average and not based on any fact. Opinion based.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 07:50:38
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • A personification essay about being a alarm clock.

    Very funny and creative. I have always loved the technique of personification and this is very sweet. I started to feel sorry for this little alarm clock! This would be useful for someone not quite sure about how to do personification.
    • 25/04/2003
    • 07:36:54
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Why Is Smoking Good for You? The "Pros" of Smoking. A usually non-touched subject giving a different view of the usual tabacco bashing debate using cultural and social references.

    A fairly biased piece of writing, which showed little argument and had little factual information to back it up. The opinion essay is a valuable and enjoyed piece of writing when consumed by people reading a column in a newspaper yet this has nothing to back it up.However, this is easy to read and uses many rhetorical techniques to attempt to persuade the reader. I disliked the 'instructions' such as - now i will tell you this... this was patronisin yet these may be useful for a person scanning for relevant information.on the positive side, it's likely that many people will not have considered the 'pros' of smoking and this could be useful for people who wish to create a fully-rounded, argumentative yet persuasive essay.Average rating from me!
    • 24/04/2003
    • 10:54:06
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.