pencil grade

Essay by ejoskiUniversity, Bachelor'sA-, November 2014

download word file, 6 pages 0.0

Downloaded 1 times

EJ Olszewski Jr.


Authors Note

This is my pencil grade draft of the personal essay. In this paper I am trying to accomplish all things necessary for a pencil grade draft. I'm trying to make it the correct length and also trying to fix all the problems with the second draft. I have to add about 90 words to this draft so I hope to do so without getting off topic of the main storyline. I still believe that I have a strong beginning and middle and feel as if the ending has greatly improved.

The Hot Wheel Ramp

"Come on EJ," My mom calls out as she is trying to get me to load up in the car to head over to the Thanksgiving party. This would be the first time we weren't going to our grandma's house for Thanksgiving, which I was happy about because her house was extremely boring.

Not only was there never any toys, but you also couldn't roughhouse inside because then you'd "mess up the couches" as if the couches had a better purpose than jumping on them. I didn't hear her though as my brother and I were playing with Hot Wheels as we always were. Gunner, my brother, is only a year younger than me and looks like a wild child, his hair is always in a mess, he would always have food residue on his face from his last meal, and the only thing crazier than the way he usually looked is the way he acted. We were lost in our own little world consisting of small plastic cars and a rug with a mapped out city on it. The little city on that rug seemed to have it all, it had a fire station, police station, gas pumps,